Help to do this correctly

[LdiJ]

Yep a serious mess. One mom had a choice in not making, yep I said mom. She had choices last night, she chose the choice she knew dad disagreed with.

Oh yeah though CPS to the rescue! Rolling my eyes, shaking my head, CPS is just so great, they save the children from the evil parents. Oh please, there is nothing really here that CPS can even get dad for at this point. Mom jumped the gun.

Drama, he said/she said, unfounded CPS cases, no medical harm to child at this point. Where is that going to get in Court? What is a Judge going to do on this?

The doctor called CPS...not mom. And the doctor called CPS based on whatever it was that dad said to the doctor. Mom didn't have anything to do with it. Mom doesn't even know what that was precisely. Neither do any of us. Obviously mom got the child into the doctor BEFORE 8:30, since the child was available to be picked up at 8:30, so it sounds like she took everyone's advice there.

Doctors are mandated reporters and from what I have observed they are VERY careful when it comes to calling CPS.

Sorry gam, but while I am sure that mom isn't perfect here either, it sounds to me like she made sure that the child was available to dad at 8:30, and that dad went off the deep end this morning.

I have seen things like this before...and they confused me just as much as this one does. I honestly forget how long you have been on the forums, but do you remember Dawn and her seriously ill child where the father also refused to give the child the necessary breathing treatments?...after the child had been hospitalized for two weeks for pnemonia?

I have seen this kind of thing many times on these forums and out in the world as well. Its easy to assume that somehow the parent who is refusing treatment is being reasonable to one extent or the other. However, I had a neighbor for whom I had to call an ambulance because her appendix burst (who nearly died) because her husband was so paranoid about medical bills (despite the fact that he had good insurance) that he refused to call an ambulance himself. If I hadn't previously known that he fought against getting his children medical treatment because of his paranoia about medical bills, I never would have checked on her and she might well have died.

I have no idea with this parent's problem is but come on, he definitely went off the deep end this morning.

 

[gam]

The doctor called CPS...not mom. And the doctor called CPS based on whatever it was that dad said to the doctor. Mom didn't have anything to do with it. Mom doesn't even know what that was precisely. Neither do any of us. Obviously mom got the child into the doctor BEFORE 8:30, since the child was available to be picked up at 8:30, so it sounds like she took everyone's advice there.

Doctors are mandated reporters and from what I have observed they are VERY careful when it comes to calling CPS.

Sorry gam, but while I am sure that mom isn't perfect here either, it sounds to me like she made sure that the child was available to dad at 8:30, and that dad went off the deep end this morning.

I have seen things like this before...and they confused me just as much as this one does. I honestly forget how long you have been on the forums, but do you remember Dawn and her seriously ill child where the father also refused to give the child the necessary breathing treatments?...after the child had been hospitalized for two weeks for pnemonia?

I have seen this kind of thing many times on these forums and out in the world as well. Its easy to assume that somehow the parent who is refusing treatment is being reasonable to one extent or the other. However, I had a neighbor for whom I had to call an ambulance because her appendix burst (who nearly died) because her husband was so paranoid about medical bills (despite the fact that he had good insurance) that he refused to call an ambulance himself. If I hadn't previously known that he fought against getting his children medical treatment because of his paranoia about medical bills, I never would have checked on her and she might well have died.

I have no idea with this parent's problem is but come on, he definitely went off the deep end this morning.

Been on the boards almost 8 years now, never posted much on this one, just read. You can find the answers to your questions just by searching. I have always been a 3rd party and ya know the rule on this board. So I posted on other boards across the net.

I don't recall Dawn's story. However I DO RECALL MY DAUGHTERS AND GRANDSONS STORY. You should recall it to, here I will give you a little hint, I posted elsewhere using the name REG. Ring a bell?

Dr called CPS in my daughters case to, it worked out so well. Lets see they found it be unfounded on dad, however dad, his wacko lawyer and his mommy made some lovely allegations against my daughter. SO CPS CAME KNOCKING ON MY DOOR. Daughter had to jump through some hoops, or the CPS worker was going to tell her SUPERVISOR, my daughter was uncooperative.

The Dr ended up telling my daughter to find a new one, as she no longer would treat the child, she was not getting involved in the mess between my daughter, her ex and the ex's wacko lawyer.

2 1/2 years before the court finally did anything about his constant disregard to follow Ped's medical instructions, his constant failure to seek medical care on his time. Took the child being admitted to the hospital an hour after his return from dads weekend time for the court to help on out.

Mom has nothing, she has dad acting a little crazy. Dads time starts at 8:30, mom did not have child at pick up spot, she left a note. Mom said yesterday appt was 8:45, perhaps she got Dr to take the child a wee bit early. Regardless dad did not agree with mom to take the child before his visit. Perhaps he was going to take the child himself, mom don't know that, we don't know that, I don't care what he said prior or how nutty he behaved. Mom needed to either get the care prior and have child at regular pick up spot this morning or let dad do what he chose this weekend on it. If dad failed to follow whatever instructions mom left that Dr gave at the visit mom took child to, or didn't seek care fro the child this weekend, then mom MIGHT HAVE SOME REAL PROOF.

 

[LdiJ]

Been on the boards almost 8 years now, never posted much on this one, just read. You can find the answers to your questions just by searching. I have always been a 3rd party and ya know the rule on this board. So I posted on other boards across the net.

I don't recall Dawn's story. However I DO RECALL MY DAUGHTERS AND GRANDSONS STORY. You should recall it to, here I will give you a little hint, I posted elsewhere using the name REG. Ring a bell?

Dr called CPS in my daughters case to, it worked out so well. Lets see they found it be unfounded on dad, however dad, his wacko lawyer and his mommy made some lovely allegations against my daughter. SO CPS CAME KNOCKING ON MY DOOR. Daughter had to jump through some hoops, or the CPS worker was going to tell her SUPERVISOR, my daughter was uncooperative.

The Dr ended up telling my daughter to find a new one, as she no longer would treat the child, she was not getting involved in the mess between my daughter, her ex and the ex's wacko lawyer.

2 1/2 years before the court finally did anything about his constant disregard to follow Ped's medical instructions, his constant failure to seek medical care on his time. Took the child being admitted to the hospital an hour after his return from dads weekend time for the court to help on out.

Mom has nothing, she has dad acting a little crazy. Dads time starts at 8:30, mom did not have child at pick up spot, she left a note. Mom said yesterday appt was 8:45, perhaps she got Dr to take the child a wee bit early. Regardless dad did not agree with mom to take the child before his visit. Perhaps he was going to take the child himself, mom don't know that, we don't know that, I don't care what he said prior or how nutty he behaved. Mom needed to either get the care prior and have child at regular pick up spot this morning or let dad do what he chose this weekend on it. If dad failed to follow whatever instructions mom left that Dr gave at the visit mom took child to, or didn't seek care fro the child this weekend, then mom MIGHT HAVE SOME REAL PROOF.

I do think that I know/remember your story more now.

However I do think that this one is a little different. The doctor called CPS not solely based on mom's story, not solely based on examining the child, but also based on how dad behaved and what he said (and we still have no idea what that was, mom doesn't either) when in the doctor's office. That is honestly a whole 'nuther story in the whole mess. We also know that dad has been refusing the child very necessary medical treatment.

This is a doctor who can directly testify regarding dad at this point...no heresay involved at all about this incident as far as medical issues are concerned.

Plus dad acted like an idiot with the police. I honestly don't see this one going evenly remotely well for dad in court...even if mom exaggerated the issues here.

 

[mommyanme]

I do think that I know/remember your story more now.

However I do think that this one is a little different. The doctor called CPS not solely based on mom's story, not solely based on examining the child, but also based on how dad behaved and what he said (and we still have no idea what that was, mom doesn't either) when in the doctor's office. That is honestly a whole 'nuther story in the whole mess. We also know that dad has been refusing the child very necessary medical treatment.

This is a doctor who can directly testify regarding dad at this point...no heresay involved at all about this incident as far as medical issues are concerned.

Plus dad acted like an idiot with the police. I honestly don't see this one going evenly remotely well for dad in court...even if mom exaggerated the issues here.

Let me give a little more info

April; Picked baby up after overnight visit, baby had fever of 103, took him to the doctor when I got home it was an hour drive had a double ear infection

May; I pick baby up Dad screamed at me about a rash, Dad had had baby since 8:30 the previous morning this was 5:30pm, Baby's rash was blistering and bleeding was an allergic reaction to something according to ER. I told dad he should have been seen Dad's statement was if it's not severe I will not jump and take him to the doctor, just cause you say so. Dad's own girlfriend said it "just showed up that morning" she saw it when she changed him.

August,
1 Baby had his first cold, I took him to the doctor and let Dad know it was a cold and how they said to treat it. I also told him the Dr. was open on Saturday if he got worse because he seemed to be getting worse and was running a small temp, Dad said he'd take care of him. 3 days later Dad dropped baby off at daycare and I was called to pick him up for a fever over 101. It was a sinus infection

2 Baby went back to Dad the following weekend with his antibiotics. I gave dad everything from the doctor to confirm an email I sent him about his visit
Again the following Monday daycare called me to pick baby up he was really sick temp was 104, Dad had told them he didn't eat or drink much all weekend or sleep much. He had a Double ear infection and was given Rocephin shots.

Dad was told about ENT appointment and asked me for every detail from date and time of appt. phone number to address to doctors name and who she was through, I obliged because personally I felt he needed to be there. He never showed up for the appointment. Sent him a message about what the ENT said and asked if he agreed with baby getting tubes he replied that I must write out every detail of the appointment. His reply was that he would think about it and let me know at a later date. ENT set up surgery on her own.

Sept. 2 weeks prior to surgery Dad demanded I be there alone and said he would not allow me in with the baby because he wanted to spend that time with his son. I said we could both be back there, but someone would be with me but would wait in the waiting room, I had moral support only due to the surgery was on the 8 year anniversary of my husband's death. 2 weeks of telling me what I would do and that he would file criminal and contempt charges and have me served at the hospital, he didn't show up for the surgery. Didn't ask at all, I instead wrote it in Baby's journal. That saturday he text yelling at me that he was not filling a prescription for ear drops why didn't I? I told him the ENT gave me a bottle and a RXand the bottle only lasted till 2 doses that friday, Dad's time started Friday, he said he wasn't paying for it and I needed to drive there and do it, I told him to drop it off at a Rite Aid and it wouldn't cost him anything, it did get filled.

Then we have the situation posted here.

Also my attorney called me after he spoke with the office manager and she told him the call was placed because of statements dad made and because DAD demanded she call CPS if she had a problem. They will not tell me what dad refused or what he stated other than that, my attorney just told me don't worry it was not on me and I was not in trouble and Dad's "crazy making" got the best of him this time.

Please everyone understand, I do not like CPS, I wouldn't have called them, they don't usually fix anything instead it usually gets messed up worse. But because Dad demanded she call, it's on him.

 

[DownTime]

Is it possible that Dad's behavior is being brought about because of copays and prescription cost?

If he is paying CS that he feels he shouldn't have to, and is the personality type, a 15-30 dollar copay and RX nearly every visit is going to send him nuclear.

I don't understand the logic behind letting the child suffer, but on reading the hx, his irrational behavior certainly points in that direction, from my own experience on trying to pinpoint an anger issue or 3.

Money.

 

[mommyanme]

Is it possible that Dad's behavior is being brought about because of copays and prescription cost?

If he is paying CS that he feels he shouldn't have to, and is the personality type, a 15-30 dollar copay and RX nearly every visit is going to send him nuclear.

I don't understand the logic behind letting the child suffer, but on reading the hx, his irrational behavior certainly points in that direction, from my own experience on trying to pinpoint an anger issue or 3.

Money.

There's no Co-pays or RX costs. Dad was ordered to provide insurance he doesn't, I have federal employee insurance.

 

[DownTime]

There's no Co-pays or RX costs. Dad was ordered to provide insurance he doesn't, I have federal employee insurance.

Well nuts. Thanks for responding!

Trying to see if there was maybe a trigger that could be pinpointed to ease Dad out of reacting in a way that could harm, further, the child.

It could very well be the sick kid that is his problem, then.

 

[stealth2]

I do think that I know/remember your story more now.

However I do think that this one is a little different. The doctor called CPS not solely based on mom's story, not solely based on examining the child, but also based on how dad behaved and what he said (and we still have no idea what that was, mom doesn't either) when in the doctor's office. That is honestly a whole 'nuther story in the whole mess. We also know that dad has been refusing the child very necessary medical treatment.

This is a doctor who can directly testify regarding dad at this point...no heresay involved at all about this incident as far as medical issues are concerned.

Plus dad acted like an idiot with the police. I honestly don't see this one going evenly remotely well for dad in court...even if mom exaggerated the issues here.

Problem is, LDi, that DOC didn't call CPS- his office manager did. So Doc really can't testify to anything about what Dad did or didn't say/do.

 

[LdiJ]

Problem is, LDi, that DOC didn't call CPS- his office manager did. So Doc really can't testify to anything about what Dad did or didn't say/do.

Maybe, but I cannot imagine an office manager doing it without the doc's approval, or the doc not witnessing what was going on with a patient's angry parent. I haven't ever been in a doctor's office that was large enough for that to be possible. Maybe there are some out there.

 

[stealth2]

Maybe, but I cannot imagine an office manager doing it without the doc's approval, or the doc not witnessing what was going on with a patient's angry parent. I haven't ever been in a doctor's office that was large enough for that to be possible. Maybe there are some out there.

I can. But then... I try to go only by what an OP has posted and not assume things s/he has not. <shrug>

OP posted that the Office Manager told her SHE decided to call CPS. Nothing about the doctor's involvement.

 

[gam]

Maybe, but I cannot imagine an office manager doing it without the doc's approval, or the doc not witnessing what was going on with a patient's angry parent. I haven't ever been in a doctor's office that was large enough for that to be possible. Maybe there are some out there.

Even so, what does one have here to testify to an angry parent, that does not want that Dr's office treating their child.

How is that endangering the child? Where is the medical neglect?

Dad was angry, said he was transferring the child from that Dr. I see nothing much for the Office manager or the Doc to testify to.

Dad has not at this point done anything the office manager or Doc can testify to concerning medical incidents. There have been no medical incidents by dad to this point.

I see nothing much for CPS to investigate either. No medical neglect has happened yet. Threats of not following this Dr's medical advice is all that has happened.

For the record, this is exactly how CPS was called the first time in my daughters case. It had nothing to do with my daughter or anything she said to the Dr or the Dr's office about her ex. It was strictly based on dad and dads nutty lawyer. Case was closed in 30 days, unfounded. However dad and his lawyer threw allegations my daughters way, so case was then opened on her.

Hope mom is prepared to have CPS knocking at her door. Mom says CPS involvement is on dad, however it is now on mom to. CPS has now entered her childs life, like it or not, want them involved or not, they are now there.

 

[LdiJ]

Even so, what does one have here to testify to an angry parent, that does not want that Dr's office treating their child.

How is that endangering the child? Where is the medical neglect?

Dad was angry, said he was transferring the child from that Dr. I see nothing much for the Office manager or the Doc to testify to.

Dad has not at this point done anything the office manager or Doc can testify to concerning medical incidents. There have been no medical incidents by dad to this point.

I see nothing much for CPS to investigate either. No medical neglect has happened yet. Threats of not following this Dr's medical advice is all that has happened.

For the record, this is exactly how CPS was called the first time in my daughters case. It had nothing to do with my daughter or anything she said to the Dr or the Dr's office about her ex. It was strictly based on dad and dads nutty lawyer. Case was closed in 30 days, unfounded. However dad and his lawyer threw allegations my daughters way, so case was then opened on her.

Hope mom is prepared to have CPS knocking at her door. Mom says CPS involvement is on dad, however it is now on mom to. CPS has now entered her childs life, like it or not, want them involved or not, they are now there.

One of my points was that you are acting as though mom somehow had some control over whether or not CPS was called. Clearly she did not. Dad has also clearly done more than threaten not to treat the child. Prior to this he refused to give the child breathing treatments, and certainly mom's latest post sounds like medical neglect to me.

 

[Ohiogal]

One of my points was that you are acting as though mom somehow had some control over whether or not CPS was called. Clearly she did not. Dad has also clearly done more than threaten not to treat the child. Prior to this he refused to give the child breathing treatments, and certainly mom's latest post sounds like medical neglect to me.

And CPS being called will backfire. Because it is based on the condition of the child and not on the parents' actions necessarily. Dad is allowed to get mad and spout off at the office manager. She called CPS because dad yelled at her? Really? That is a petty retaliatory action. If I were dad I would be petitioning to have the child NOT treated by that whackjob's office any longer because the office manager was out of line completely.

CPS is not to be used to harrass parents OR tattle that daddy was mean to the staff. It is meant to protect children. If mom has custody and the child with her then, if the child is being neglected, it can hit mom as hard -- if not harder -- than dad. The child is NOT being neglected though. There is a difference in opinion in how to treat the child. THAT is not medical neglect.

 

[mistoffolees]

And CPS being called will backfire. Because it is based on the condition of the child and not on the parents' actions necessarily. Dad is allowed to get mad and spout off at the office manager. She called CPS because dad yelled at her? Really? That is a petty retaliatory action. If I were dad I would be petitioning to have the child NOT treated by that whackjob's office any longer because the office manager was out of line completely.

CPS is not to be used to harrass parents OR tattle that daddy was mean to the staff. It is meant to protect children. If mom has custody and the child with her then, if the child is being neglected, it can hit mom as hard -- if not harder -- than dad. The child is NOT being neglected though. There is a difference in opinion in how to treat the child. THAT is not medical neglect.

I agree. Both Mom and Dad are at fault here. They each think they're right, but in reality, they're both wrong - and are setting that poor child up for a lifetime of misery.

In a truly fair world, that poor child would be taken way from BOTH of them and given to foster parents who care about the child more than about how they can get back at the other parent.

 

[gam]

One of my points was that you are acting as though mom somehow had some control over whether or not CPS was called. Clearly she did not. Dad has also clearly done more than threaten not to treat the child. Prior to this he refused to give the child breathing treatments, and certainly mom's latest post sounds like medical neglect to me.

Yep mom did have some control let me do this slow and big for you.

SHE COULD HAVE TAKEN THE CHILD IN THE NIGHT BEFORE AND AVOIDED THE MESS AT THE DR'S OFFICE THE NEXT MORNING.

Mom knew dad did not agree with that appt in the morning on his time, mom changed the pick up spot without dads agreement. Mom delayed dads visit, when dad could have clearly sought care for the child on his time.

What proof is there that dad did not give the child those breathing treatments? MOM SAYING DAD DID NOT, IS NOT PROOF.

Which of moms lastest posts, the one where she lists a handful of incidents? Where is moms proof that dad caused any of those incidents?

Diaper rash, mom is claiming it happened on dads time, she does have dads girlfriend stating it appeared that morning. Think dads girlfriend is going to testify to that in court? Even if girlfriend were, so babys get diaper rash all the time. Then mom takes the baby to the ER for the diaper rash. ER said it appeared to be an allergic reaction to something put on the diaper rash.

Have you not been in a store to by your grandchild diapers? Cause there happens to be a dozen or so diaper rash ointments on the shelves. Perhaps dad put an ointment on the childs diaper rash. How is that medical neglect? Dad tried to take care of the rash, how the heck is one to know someone is allergic to something prior to giving them that something?

Does mom have proof she dropped that child off at dads with no diaper rash? Does mom have proof that diaper rash was caused by dads neglect of the child?

She has nothing. Child had a diaper rash, very common in children who wear diapers. Dad may or may not have put something on that diaper rash, either way, mom has no proof if he did or did not. If he did, it's not medical neglect, he attempted to treat a diaper rash. If he did not, your talking about dad not doing something for a diaper rash for a day. Read the post mom said she dropped the child with dad the day before, mom said she picked the child up the next day.

I can pick all these incidents apart, mom has no proof. If CPS or the Courts do their job correctly, mom is gonna need proof, they will ask these same questions. SAME QUESTIONS THEY ASKED IN MY DAUGHTERS CASE.

There are ways to get that proof, so its not just fluffed off by CPS and the Court. I'm not against mom here, mom needs more, needs to slow down and get that more.

But whatever, I'm beating a dead horse posting back and forth with you.