Question for you, dummy...is everyone who has a different opinion than yours an idiot, a moron, a fool and a bitch?
For your information, I am a fairly conservative person. I do not believe in divorce unless there are extenuating circumstances (ie DV) or unless every avenue has been pursued (ie counseling). I also do not believe that ANY affair is justified - however, I am also a very empathetic person, so I try to understand why people do the things that they do. (I also do not disparage someone because they are divorced or had an affair.) Just because a husband sells his truck to build her dream house, sends her flowers, tells her she is beautiful, and makes reservations at nice restaurants does NOT mean that he is meeting her needs. While they may be nice gestures, he may have been lacking in other areas. Perhaps he was not fulfilling her needs sexually (while the steriotype is that the man is the one who wants/needs sex more ofter, there are some women who have higher sex drives than their mates - in extreme disparity, this can cause serious problems in a marriage). Maybe he was not being open with her about his emotions. Maybe he put on a good show for you and everyone else, but was emotionally abusive to her when they were alone. The point is that YOU were not a party to their marriage, so YOU can NOT know the full story of what went on. It is a fact that there are THREE sides to EVERY situation - his, hers, and the ACTUAL events.
"If he's such a horrible husband, why in the hell was he willing to have her back after finding out she was f'ing another man???"
My answer to this is that he may have been willing to take her back because he is a dependent person. Perhaps not to the extent that he can't do things by himself. Just one who prefers to have someone he KNOWS along side him. It is common that a dependent person will try to stay close to the people the know - even if their relationship is not a healthy one.
In closing, I stand by what I (and many others) have previously stated, but you insist on denying - infidelity points to the spousal relationship, NOT the parental relationship. It will NOT be the deciding factor in determining custody.
I must also reiterate that YOU were not a party to their marriage, so YOU do not KNOW what occurred. You ONLY know the pieces you have seen and the parts you have been told, which have been colored by that person's point of view.