new mommy & daddy need help

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Grandmoher

The impact and involvement of grandmothers
Coley and Chase-Lansdale note the importance of considering the contexts in which teenage mothers live when working to understand their lives. In many cases, this context involves the child's grandmother (the mother of the teenage mother), with whom the teenage mother often lives, or on whom she may rely for childrearing assistance or advice. Studies suggest that it is most helpful when grandmothers model appropriate parenting behavior to their daughters without either taking total control of childrearing responsibilities, or distancing themselves from the experience. Earlier research had suggested that living with their own mothers played a protective role for teenage mothers, but new research calls this finding into question, suggesting that the parenting practices of both the teenage mother and her mother (the grandmother) are of lower quality when they reside together. The exception to this is very young teenage mothers, for whom residing with their own mothers was associated with warmer and more positive parenting. For older teenage mothers, living near, but not with, their own mothers and receiving childcare and support from them seems to be more beneficial than living together. This research has implications for recent changes in the welfare laws which require underage mothers to live with their parents in order to receive welfare payments.

beneficial- to gain

 

[fast_one]

SMOKE 1

Second Hand Smoke - Second Rate Breathing for Kids

“Smoking?” or “Non?” How often do you hear that phrase when you go to restaurants? Do we give our children that same choice?


Our children deserve to have a choice about the quality of air they breathe. Many children do not have this choice because of their exposure to second hand smoke. Second hand smoke is a combination of smoke from the burning end of a cigarette, pipe, or cigar and smoke exhaled from the lungs of a smoker. Second hand smoke also is called environmental tobacco smoke (ETS).

Exposure to second hand smoke is called involuntary smoking or passive smoking.

Passive smoking affects people of all ages, but children suffer greatest from the effects of second hand smoke. The poisons in second hand smoke put children in danger of severe respiratory diseases and can harm the growth of their lungs. The effects of second hand smoke can last a lifetime and can also shorten lives. Approximately 65,000 premature and needless deaths are attributed to regular exposure to second hand smoke annually, including more than 6,000 child deaths.

Second hand smoke does not go away. Your home ventilation systems cannot eliminate second hand smoke. Blowing smoke away from children, moving into another room to smoke, or opening a window may seem to reduce children’s exposure to second hand smoke but will not protect them from its dangers.

Does your baby, child or teen suffer from these effects of exposure to second hand smoke?

• Increased likelihood of suffering from pneumonia, bronchitis, and other lung diseases

• More ear infections and sore throats than children who are not exposed to second hand smoke

• Increased risk for developing asthma

• Greater numbers of and more severe asthma attacks

• Increased risk of lung infections and hospital- ization for infants and very young children

Ever wonder why your baby is cranky? One reason might be the noxious fumes in second hand smoke that cause irritation of babies’ ears, nose, throat, sinuses and lungs.

Adults and young people who choose to smoke tobacco products also should be aware that passive smoking can harm the development of the fetus and causes spontaneous abortions, stillbirths and birth defects.

Stress that smoking affects everyone, not just the person who smokes.

• Allow no one to smoke in your car, EVER.

 

[ChristinaR]

I agree with you on those points, I work as a systems administrator with Head Start, I have my social work degree and I'm a CASA, I helped to implement the fatherhood initiative in our Head Start District where I am, I work with teen parent everyday and see the good and the bad effects on the children. You as a teen father will be carrying a heavy load. I am proud that you want to be a good father! Most your age don't step up to the plate and take the responsibility.

If you get tapes of Grandma don't let anyone know about them, keep them safe and use them when the time is right, Your attorney will be able to tell you more about that stuff. Get your rights established then deal with Grandma. Sadly you'll have to deal with her (even indirectly) for many more years so just take one step at a time and keep your chin up!

 

[fast_one]

thank you

Thank you its people like you that keep me going and thanks alot!! why is people like you underlined??

 

[fast_one]

charges

Ok so now all the sudden what from what I heard the GM wants to press charges, ok why now? why 1 year later, I mean just because last night she said unless I don't show her my recoder and let her listen to it then I can never see my daughter and GF again. I told my GF to tell her this is no game, this is our realationship she is dealing with. we are not cards to play with. she was trying to use emotional black mail, and I did not fall for it. Sex was voulaantary between me and my gf and never forced myself upon her, infact I knew nothing of sex and my gf kept on telling me that she couldn't get pregnant, and I still refused, but as you know it eventually happened. what can I do to protect myself. Well prtoect the future of my young family? Oh and Iforgot to mention, she threatened to take my baby and my gf out of state.

 

[jez51]

Re: charges

Ok so now all the sudden what from what I heard the GM wants to press charges, ok why now? why 1 year later, I mean just because last night she said unless I don't show her my recoder and let her listen to it then I can never see my daughter and GF again. I told my GF to tell her this is no game, this is our realationship she is dealing with. we are not cards to play with. she was trying to use emotional black mail, and I did not fall for it. Sex was voulaantary between me and my gf and never forced myself upon her, infact I knew nothing of sex and my gf kept on telling me that she couldn't get pregnant, and I still refused, but as you know it eventually happened. what can I do to protect myself. Well prtoect the future of my young family? Oh and Iforgot to mention, she threatened to take my baby and my gf out of state.

Fastone
Quit beating your head against the wall, and arguing with these people, shut down the computer, walk out the door and go talk to a lawyer. There's not much else anyone on here can tell you, that already hasn't been said.
Good luck to you, you're going to need it.

 

[stealth2]

There really isn't anything else to say except you MUST talk to a lawyer.

But I would like to thank you for making such an effort to keep all your posts about this to one thread - it makes it SO much easier to remember the situation, see what everyone else has already suggested, etc. Good job!

 

[ellencee]

fast_one
You just keep making this situation a bigger mess by trying to come up with some reason that the court will let you take your girlfriend and your daughter out of the grandmother's house.
Read this carefully and understand each point:

--in the opinion of the courts, the legal system, you ARE NOT the baby's father. Therefore, in the opinion of the court and the legal system, you HAVE NO RIGHT to even see the baby. No anti-smoking study or anything else is going to give you the right to take that baby or to see that baby.

--Until the court 'rules' that you are the father, you have NO RIGHT to the baby.

--You have NO RIGHT to your girlfriend. She is 14 years old and lives at home with her mother. You are not her father or any relative of any kind. You can be made to stay away until such time as a court rules that you are the father of the baby and as such gives you the right to visit the baby. The court will not give you the right to see your girlfriend.

--As an adult, over the age of 18, the law hold you to have raped your girllfriend because she was 13 and too young to understand the consequences of her actions. The law hold you, as an adult, totally responsible for the sexual contact because as an adult, you are held responsible for knowing better than to have sex with a CHILD.

I think you started out in a better situation than you could have wished. You started out with free access to your girlfriend and your baby, but you have nagged and harassed and found fault with everything about the grandmother until she is about to put you somewhere you can't leave for the next 20 years or so--PRISON.

I'm tired of telling to you to get an attorney. I think you have found a way to get one for free, from the court-appointed defense attorney at your trial for statutory rape. Grandmother is about to cook your fanny if you don't be on your best behavior at all times and leave her alone and her child alone and her child's child alone UNLESS the grandmother says you can come over.

You have got to understand that you have no right to the 14 year-old girl or to her baby. Until you understand that, you are paving your way to prison.

EC

 

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to ellence

I see your points but..................
1. she is 15
2. the grandmother harrasses me
3. end of post

 

[fast_one]

walfare

welfare has removed my gf and my baby from GM house so they have court on Monday to see if they go back, or to their dads, Can she possable come with me. and yes I have tried to get an attorney but I work 40+ hours week and its hard. Where can I go and just get one really fast? Can a judge rule in favor of them two being with me?

 

[coosi]

What do you mean by "walfare"? Child Protective Services?

What happened to the link I posted for you? Did you use it?

 

[ChristinaR]

Tony you have to make the time to find an attorney! Take an afternoon or morning off and do it now.

Who removed your GF and the baby? Was it child protective services?


Sorry Coosi I didn't realize you had already asked that question *S* My connection is major slow tonight.

 

[fast_one]

It was a social worker fro the department of health and wefare.

 

[coosi]

Tony

Today is Friday. Court is Monday. Lawyers don't work on the weekends. What's your plan?

 

[ellencee]

coosi
His plan is to either go to court and tell the judge he is the baby's father and walk out with both children or to pick up the GF and baby after the GF or DSS gets the judge to let him 'have' them.

One thing about it, after court on Monday, he will have one of his answers and possibly a warrant for his arrest or some shiny handcuffs. What he won't have is any understanding of the crime he committed or the status of his not being the legal father of the baby.

He refuses to see anything differently than he wants to see it; he will never see it differently.

I hope the GF and the baby are sent somewhere healthier than the grandmother's home (if her home is as he has described it). I'm not worried about their going with him or happy at the possibility of their going with him; that isn't going to happen, not on Monday.

EC