overnights with boyfriend

[lquid_user]

good point

Well, your ex is clearly comfortable there.

And according to you, HER yard is the Mississippi river.

Sending a friend over to look at the house and then calling the cops is probably the stupidest thing I've ever heard, but if you're convinced that it's what you want to do, go for it.

But bear in mind - the kids don't LIVE THERE, they spend a night (or two) there. So you don't even really have that much to stand on - especially considering what you've posted about mom's current living conditions (no electricity or water).

I guess in a way it really is an improvement, there are bathing facilities, and central heat rather than a woodstove, and her house is probably just as bad as his now that I'm no longer helping with the upkeep. and the kids won't fall into the river.

It really is all in how you look at it.

But one reason for having the cops go there was just to document that they stay there. so that the custody evaluator has a concrete reason to include that house in the evaluation, besides the "I really really want her to" reason.

I did ask CPS what the guidelines are regarding safe living conditions but they wouldn't offer me anything like a list of things that are unacceptable. I don't know why it has to be so mysterious and subjective.

But boy that is a really good point, maybe I'll shut up and just be happy.


I recently drove from St Lous to KC and I firmly believe that ALL of the highway dollars in the region have been funelled to the KC I-70 project. The rest of I-70 in Missouri is total dog***t and definitely the worst stretch of I-70 from KC east.

stealth2: If I could afford a PI I'd ask my atty these questions and not you, but your right.

shellandty: I'm worried that if I am a troublemaker at this point, during the custody evaluation, I may lose all or some opportunity to protect them further down the road.



Thanks all. You are better than the mood stabilizers they recommended.

 

[betterthanher]

right, I have no "PROOF" but like I said I intend to have someone go and look to see what it's like, and based on this I am considering having the police visist in the interest of having very official documentation concerning the conditions inside the house.

And the other parent has every right to deny that person from entering their residence without a court order. You have no legal authority or right to have anyone check out another person's residence without proof. Also, what do you intend to tell the police so they do check out the house? Are you going to lie? Some of you thinking the police have nothing better to do than to deal with ridiculous family matters like this. The police have a city to protect -- from criminals.

I am sure that there are no narcotics agents in the house.
I just want to know what really constitutes endangerment and what conditions would prompt the police to remove the children form the house. so that I know what specifically to have my friend keep his eyes open for.

You are treading on very dangerous ground here.

I have bluntly asked a police dispatcher that question and was told "I can't really answer that.". I would really like to get the police involved here but am hesitant until I know that I would really be justified and that the effort would result in some official action.

Because the dispatcher knows exactly the game you're playing and what you're up to. Until you have solid proof you can't inititate a darn thing. Right now, you have nothing and all of your tactics will come back to bite you in the butt. I'd drag you into court on a number of civil issues.

I am not interested in the "moral" dilemmas involved with the new boyfriend.

Good because it's your jealously you need to seek help for. Deny it all you want. That IS what it is.

I am concerned about my children being in a provably dangerous environment.

Key word is "probable". Until then, you have about as much as the President does on WMD's.

I can see broken glass and bicycle parts and trash ofall sorts in the yard from the sidewalk.

So? There is some trash in my yard -- that's because the kids in my 'hood are literbugs. What's your point?

[/quote]In the past the inside easily topped the outside in so far as the "my kids cannot play here" meter was concerned. Broken windows, rotting food, week old half beers.[/quote]
Did you get proof of this?

This is not a place I or anyone I regularly assosciate with would be comfortable in and I think my children shouldn't be exposed to such an environment.

It's not up to you. Your issue here is obvious: the issue is with your ex and you're using the children to control the ex's rights to the child. Again, deny is alllllll you want. The first step is admitting i am right.

thanks again[/QUOTE]

 

[BelizeBreeze]

if your really worried about your children's welfair.....who cares if you look like a troublemaker.

So, you advocate telling someone on a legal website that stalking and harrasment is perfectly fine?

Please justify that.

 

[stealth2]

Also - how do you know the cops will go there when the kids are there? They're unlikely to drop everything and rush right over the minute you call them.

 

[CJane]

But one reason for having the cops go there was just to document that they stay there. so that the custody evaluator has a concrete reason to include that house in the evaluation, besides the "I really really want her to" reason.

But the evaluator isn't going to go visit every house the children MIGHT spend time in. They're going to evaluate the RESIDENCE of the children. They don't have the time or the inclination to go and visit every random house you can prove the kids were in over a period of time. It just isn't going to happen.

 

[lquid_user]

And the other parent has every right to deny that person from entering their residence without a court order. You have no legal authority or right to have anyone check out another person's residence without proof. Also, what do you intend to tell the police so they do check out the house? Are you going to lie? Some of you thinking the police have nothing better to do than to deal with ridiculous family matters like this. The police have a city to protect -- from criminals.

Response: The mother does not live there. I am having a person who is known to the residents of the house go to see if things are as bad as I think. The police regularly do welfare checks because protecting my children is also a part of their job. all I have to tell them is that I would like to have a child welfare check performed. I would not have to lie I would only have to say "please go and check on my kids.".This town is not crawling with criminals

You are treading on very dangerous ground here.

Response: I would not be doing anything illegal. if I did this repeatedly without any justification then it would be harassment, but as an isolated incident it is perfectly acceptable in this community.


Because the dispatcher knows exactly the game you're playing and what you're up to. Until you have solid proof you can't inititate a darn thing. Right now, you have nothing and all of your tactics will come back to bite you in the butt. I'd drag you into court on a number of civil issues.

Response: I was very honeset with the dispatcher and made it clear that I was not intending to have a check performed right now and that I wanted information. She was very nice and not very helpful but wished me luck at the end of the call. After being prompted I told her the house in question, she knew it immediately and said she would definitely not let her kids go there(this is a small town and the dispatcher has alot of free time at 11:00 at night on a tuesday). Right now I have plenty and I am justifiably concerned about my kids safety.

Good because it's your jealously you need to seek help for. Deny it all you want. That IS what it is.

Response: Maybe you are jealous. I am worried about my kids. Please read the entire post.

Key word is "probable". Until then, you have about as much as the President does on WMD's.

Response: Key word is "Proveable"I am seeking relevant proveable information concerning the living conditions of my children.


So? There is some trash in my yard -- that's because the kids in my 'hood are literbugs. What's your point?

I am sure that you on occasion pickup your area and you hopefully don't let children play near broken glass and stacks of disassembled bicycles. The issue is not looks. This is not a cosmetic problem. The problem is danger. I am asking and have asked repeatedly. What constitutes DANGER? I know what my subjective opinion states. I would like to know what the legal

requirement is for a situation to be dangerous so that I can confidently say that it is so. And if it is not so then I will know to shut my pie hole.

In the past the inside easily topped the outside in so far as the "my kids cannot play here" meter was concerned. Broken windows, rotting food, week old half beers.[/quote]
Did you get proof of this?

Response:I was there. I personally witnessed this.


It's not up to you. Your issue here is obvious: the issue is with your ex and you're using the children to control the ex's rights to the child. Again, deny is alllllll you want. The first step is admitting i am right.

Response: I am sorry that you have control issues. I am sorry that you have difficulty reading additional information into very simple clear posts. Deny this alllll you want. The first step is admitting that I am right. Then get help.

thanks again[/QUOTE][/QUOTE]
thanks

 

[betterthanher]

requirement is for a situation to be dangerous so that I can confidently say that it is so. And if it is not so then I will know to shut my pie hole.

Again, what evidence can you provide to prove beyond a reason of a doubt that the situation is dangerous? Your "word" won't mean anything in court.

I asked you: "Did you get proof of this?" and you responded with:

Response:I was there. I personally witnessed this.

Again, what evidence do you have to prove beyond a reason of a doubt your case in regards to that particular situation? Again, a court is not going to go on what you "witnessed" without evidence.

 

[stealth2]

Response:I was there. I personally witnessed this.

"In the past" isn't going to cut it.

 

[lquid_user]

and for those who don't suck

stealth2:It is routine for the police here to perform welfare checks on children and the elderly. They will even do it from anonymous phone calls. I would wish for them to know that I called though, because if they removed the kids from that house I would preferr they come to me than to a state facility. I did ask the dispatcher what the resultant scenario could be.She told me that they would bring the kids to me if they had my info. but that if I called anonymously then it would be up to the mother to choose wether to give them my info. I would expect her to be a little T'd off.

Again I am not doing this. I am just gathering info and considering it as an option. The kids should be able to sleep in sanitary and safe conditions. I am willing to let this go for now as long as I can't later be seen as neglectful for allowing it. I think I really can't stop it. I would not do anything rash and jeopardize my case though, without first consulting my atty.

c-jane: Well, I can still ask them to. I think that they should be interested in any place that the children frequent. I have my first meeting with the evaluator tomorrow. I'm sure she'll help make everything clear. I understand that they can't just bust into any abode like federales and search the premesis. But maybe I can get her to just ask the relevant questions.

again c-jane your earlier post really did put it into perspective rather well. They aren't on the river. That is a plus.

thanks very much

 

[lquid_user]

that is why

Again, what evidence can you provide to prove beyond a reason of a doubt that the situation is dangerous? Your "word" won't mean anything in court.

I asked you: "Did you get proof of this?" and you responded with:

Again, what evidence do you have to prove beyond a reason of a doubt your case in regards to that particular situation? Again, a court is not going to go on what you "witnessed" without evidence.

And that is why it would benefit to have the police go there and document EXACTLY what the situation is indeed like

 

[CJane]

prove beyond a reason of a doubt

Umm, it's REASONABLE doubt - not 'reason of a doubt'. Reasonable doubt only applies to criminal stuff anyway.

 

[stealth2]

stealth2:It is routine for the police here to perform welfare checks on children and the elderly. They will even do it from anonymous phone calls. I would wish for them to know that I called though, because if they removed the kids from that house I would preferr they come to me than to a state facility. I did ask the dispatcher what the resultant scenario could be.She told me that they would bring the kids to me if they had my info. but that if I called anonymously then it would be up to the mother to choose wether to give them my info. I would expect her to be a little T'd off.

So how is it you know exactly when they stay where?

 

[lquid_user]

also a good point

So how is it you know exactly when they stay where?

I don't

I do live 1 block form the boyfriends house, and drive by regularly. depending on where I am going and what side of the street I am parked on, past his house is sometimes the most convenient and efficient way to where I am going.

All I actually know is wether or not the mothers car is there. and it is also easy to see if the carseats are in the vehicle. When I think the kids are at the house it is based on the assumption, that the kids are where their car seats are. I think it is a reasonable assumption, but it is an assumptionafter all.

thanks

 

[casa]

liquid~ You can find your state's child welfare codes/laws online. Start there.

In terms of proving they are at the b/f residence (which doesn't matter unless you can then prove the residence is hazardous)...if it's as close as you say- ask a neighbor to walk across the street and observe the X's vehicle &/or the children coming/going from the residence.

The courts only care if the children are in Danger. And, YES, false allegations or allegations which can't be proven CAN bite you in the butt in court.

 

[lquid_user]

oh yeah.

liquid~ You can find your state's child welfare codes/laws online. Start there.

In terms of proving they are at the b/f residence (which doesn't matter unless you can then prove the residence is hazardous)...if it's as close as you say- ask a neighbor to walk across the street and observe the X's vehicle &/or the children coming/going from the residence.

The courts only care if the children are in Danger. And, YES, false allegations or allegations which can't be proven CAN bite you in the butt in court.

I guess the internet is useful
It really never ocurred to me.

thanks