Step Parent Adoption Reversal

[mrobinson622]

Tone down the rage, please.

that isn't rage...it's just reading over the things you are writing and realizing this has become something other than what I wanted it to be

 

[mrobinson622]

Adding to this that you CHOSE the stepparent who ultimately became this incompetent and irresponsible legal father to your child after you petitioned to proceed with the adoption.

This is one very good reason why you need to be very careful about who you allow to adopt and assume the legal responsibility of being the other parent through adoption. You need to consider what happens if the two of you divorce, or if you predeceased your spouse. Your child now gets to deal with the consequences of your choices since this previously unrelated stranger now has legal responsibility for them for the rest of their lives.

If you can't imagine your child living with the stepparent and without you for the rest of their childhood, you should NEVER subject either of them to an adoption. You're not hurting your spouse, you are hurting your child by doing that. The courts aren't interested in playing "revolving daddies" to suit your needs. It is, and always should be about what's in the child's best interest, not your own - which, ironically, is why the courts won't reverse the adoption simply because you exercised poor judgment and clearly entered into the adoption for all the wrong reasons.

How was I to ever haven known that he would become what he did? I thought this man loved that little boy with all his heart. I thought I had made a wonderful decision in letting him adopt my son. It isn't a game of revolving daddies...my son has a mommy who loves him and cares for him. I just cannot for the life of me understand how having a 'parent' who can't stand the child and wants nothing to do with them is in the child's best interest.

I'm not being a smart ass or anything right now...I truly cannot understand this. It is in his best interest to go to a man who wants absolutely nothing to do with him than to go to his grandparents or another family member who actually cares? How is that in his best interest?

This isn't about me, decisions I've made or how I feel about my ex husband. This is only about what is best for him.

 

[Eekamouse]

I hope you have that poor kid in therapy to help him get over the rejection of not one but two fathers so far in his life.

 

[mrobinson622]

I hope you have that poor kid in therapy to help him get over the rejection of not one but two fathers so far in his life.

He was 3 months old when I met my ex husband. He was 'daddy'...he is all my son has ever known.

 

[Silverplum]

How was I to ever haven known that he would become what he did? I thought this man loved that little boy with all his heart. I thought I had made a wonderful decision in letting him adopt my son. It isn't a game of revolving daddies...my son has a mommy who loves him and cares for him. I just cannot for the life of me understand how having a 'parent' who can't stand the child and wants nothing to do with them is in the child's best interest.

I'm not being a smart ass or anything right now...I truly cannot understand this. It is in his best interest to go to a man who wants absolutely nothing to do with him than to go to his grandparents or another family member who actually cares? How is that in his best interest?

This isn't about me, decisions I've made or how I feel about my ex husband. This is only about what is best for him.

See a local attorney for guardianship options.

 

[mrobinson622]

See a local attorney for guardianship options.

Thank you for your advice. I will start consulting attorneys after the first of the year.

 

[Ohiogal]

He isn't be orphaned though...I am still his mother and am no way giving him up for adoption. If I am not giving him up for adoption, why would he be considered an orphan and become a ward of the state? I would want him to be with my parents or just live with my husband now if something were to happen to me. He would be a ward of the state anyway if something happened and he went to my ex. My ex does not want him.

As for choosing my child's fathers, he was an unplanned child and his bio father wasn't ready so he split. I thought my ex wanted to be a father. He raised my son for from the time he was 3 months old...a total of 5 years before adopting him. If I had any clue this would happen, I wouldn't have let him adopt my son. So why in the world would you say something like that. You have the audacity to assume the bio dad thing was my fault!!!! Shame on you!!!

So you did not have sex with someone and then when you found out you were pregnant carry the child to term? YOU CHOSE who you had sex with. That choice makes it your fault. Shame on you for not being more picky regarding who you screwed. SHAME ON YOU! (Please note that though this may be considered slut shaming, I disavow any relationship with the Tea Party, the right radicals or Rush Limbaugh. Birth control is a good thing!)

 

[Ohiogal]

So because I chose not to abortion, it is my fault?

Because you chose to have sex, IT IS YOUR FAULT.

 

[Ohiogal]

I did have the choice of adoption, however, there are far too many children that are wards of the state because of mistakes people make so I chose to raise that baby so he didn't have to grow up in an orphanage or bouncing between foster families. I know in my heart I made the right choice. "Judge not, that you be not judged." ~Matthew 7:1

I posted because I wanted legal advice, not moral advice. It was posted that what I wanted was not legal. Fine. If anyone else has LEGAL ADVICE, please feel free to comment. If you want to judge my decisions, just move on to the next post.


Thank you

The Bible is NOT legal. You are the one judging your ex. The man YOU chose to adopt your son. After the first man you chose, split. Did you ever establish paternity? Did you ever have him (the man you had sex with) ordered to pay child support? LEGALLY, you have no clue. LEGALLY, you could probably do a standby guardianship DEPENDING upon what state you die in. But we don't know where that will be.

 

[Ohiogal]

My decisions do affect my child, which is why I want to reverse this...for him. I never saw myself being divorced from my ex-husband...not in a million years much less that he would do what he did to my child.

The reason I want to reverse the adoption instead of having my current husband adopt him is because now, I see no matter how much I could never imagine these things happening, they can. I do not want to do something like this to my son again. I want more than anything what is best for him. Having a legal father that hates him so much he won't see or talk to him is heartbreaking for him and even more heartbreaking for me to watch him deal with.

I thought the law wanted what is best for the child...guess that isn't the case after all.

You can't reverse the adoption. HE needs to have a legal father. He doesn't get to become a bas-----tard simply because you changed your mind and have poor judgment.

 

[Ohiogal]

How was I to ever haven known that he would become what he did? I thought this man loved that little boy with all his heart. I thought I had made a wonderful decision in letting him adopt my son. It isn't a game of revolving daddies...my son has a mommy who loves him and cares for him. I just cannot for the life of me understand how having a 'parent' who can't stand the child and wants nothing to do with them is in the child's best interest.

I'm not being a smart ass or anything right now...I truly cannot understand this. It is in his best interest to go to a man who wants absolutely nothing to do with him than to go to his grandparents or another family member who actually cares? How is that in his best interest?

This isn't about me, decisions I've made or how I feel about my ex husband. This is only about what is best for him.

A) It is revolving daddies. You willingly had sex with a man who impregnated you and wasn't father material. You then had your (then) current sex partner adopt. Since you are now not involved with him, you want to reverse the daddy. YOu can't do that. YOU are the one who put your child in this mess.
B) What about a mother who makes choices based on who she is screwing at the moment? Your vagina doesn't rule the world. The law matters. You don't get to change who dad is simply because you don't like who you chose *(twice).
C) No. It is about your decisions. You need to comprehend that.

 

[stealth2]

He isn't be orphaned though...I am still his mother and am no way giving him up for adoption. If I am not giving him up for adoption, why would he be considered an orphan and become a ward of the state? I would want him to be with my parents or just live with my husband now if something were to happen to me. He would be a ward of the state anyway if something happened and he went to my ex. My ex does not want him.

As for choosing my child's fathers, he was an unplanned child and his bio father wasn't ready so he split. I thought my ex wanted to be a father. He raised my son for from the time he was 3 months old...a total of 5 years before adopting him. If I had any clue this would happen, I wouldn't have let him adopt my son. So why in the world would you say something like that. You have the audacity to assume the bio dad thing was my fault!!!! Shame on you!!!

IF YOU DIE, and there is no other parent, the child will be an orphan! S317D makes a valid point. You CHOSE 2 dads. Badly. Don't shoot the messenger.

 

[mrobinson622]

So you did not have sex with someone and then when you found out you were pregnant carry the child to term? YOU CHOSE who you had sex with. That choice makes it your fault. Shame on you for not being more picky regarding who you screwed. SHAME ON YOU! (Please note that though this may be considered slut shaming, I disavow any relationship with the Tea Party, the right radicals or Rush Limbaugh. Birth control is a good thing!)

I was on birth control thank you very much. I was in a relationship, not being a slut. Him leaving me because I did not want to have an abortion does not make it my fault. It makes it my responsibility to carry that child and raise that child as best of my ability as I have done. I did what I felt was best. If I had done an abortion then I would be a baby killing whore...If I gave the baby up for adoption, then I would be a sorry ass woman who cared more about herself than her baby. Can't win for losing...

Let he is without sin cast the first stone!!!

 

[Silverplum]

I was on birth control thank you very much. I was in a relationship, not being a slut. Him leaving me because I did not want to have an abortion does not make it my fault. It makes it my responsibility to carry that child and raise that child as best of my ability as I have done. I did what I felt was best. If I had done an abortion then I would be a baby killing whore...If I gave the baby up for adoption, then I would be a sorry ass woman who cared more about herself than her baby. Can't win for losing...

Let he is without sin cast the first stone!!!

Good gravy.

 

[Zigner]

I was on birth control thank you very much.

So, you CHOSE to have a child. You do know that BC is not 100% effective, right?