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Step Parent Adoption Reversal

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sandyclaus

Senior Member
Ok. In order to do that, he would need to do things like complete parenting class, back pay on child support? And if he hasn't/didn't do those, would he still be allowed visitation?

I'm just figuring out every angle of what might happen...Honestly, I doubt he will ever step foot back in my son's life. I just worry.

Actually, none of the above - unless the court orders him to do it.

Visitation rights aren't a tit for tat. You don't pay for the privilege, so he doesn't have to pay the back child support in order to have the right to visit his child.

And as for completing a parenting class? Really? He's had 8 years to parent the child, and until he decided to divorce you, you didn't seem to have any issue with his parenting skills. His lack of parenting now isn't sourced from a position of inability, it's coming from a CHOICE not to parent. The courts aren't going to force him to take parenting classes just because you want him to jump through extra hoops if/when he decides he wants to have a relationship with the boy.

If you want to worry about something, then worry what kind of influence you are having on this child. Revolving daddies and men in mommy's life. Start dealing with what you're bringing to the table, and then be concerned with what your ex-husband is now obligated to provide (i.e., financial support, since he is the legal father now). Use your money to get your child - AND YOURSELF - some parenting and counseling classes to provide a more stable home environment for the child. And don't go running to your new husband and begging him to adopt your child because of your FORMER husband's choice not to do so.

(ETA: I'm kind of feeling like the whole revolving door with the men in your life IS more about financially supporting your child than the relationship with the man itself. New man = new bank account to pay for stuff. Kind of makes me want to side with the ex on how he's feeling about being treated that way... :eek::rolleyes::eek::rolleyes::eek:)
 


Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
*Unless* visitation was predicated upon the father completing the classes...

OP has given no such indication.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
A lot of lawyers are jerks and are liberal with their definition of truth.

Why d'ya think a forum where maybe 5% of the posters (if that) are practicing law would be any different?

No, seriously?
 

RRevak

Senior Member
Actually, none of the above - unless the court orders him to do it.

Visitation rights aren't a tit for tat. You don't pay for the privilege, so he doesn't have to pay the back child support in order to have the right to visit his child.

And as for completing a parenting class? Really? He's had 8 years to parent the child, and until he decided to divorce you, you didn't seem to have any issue with his parenting skills. His lack of parenting now isn't sourced from a position of inability, it's coming from a CHOICE not to parent. The courts aren't going to force him to take parenting classes just because you want him to jump through extra hoops if/when he decides he wants to have a relationship with the boy.

If you want to worry about something, then worry what kind of influence you are having on this child. Revolving daddies and men in mommy's life. Start dealing with what you're bringing to the table, and then be concerned with what your ex-husband is now obligated to provide (i.e., financial support, since he is the legal father now). Use your money to get your child - AND YOURSELF - some parenting and counseling classes to provide a more stable home environment for the child. And don't go running to your new husband and begging him to adopt your child because of your FORMER husband's choice not to do so.

(ETA: I'm kind of feeling like the whole revolving door with the men in your life IS more about financially supporting your child than the relationship with the man itself. New man = new bank account to pay for stuff. Kind of makes me want to side with the ex on how he's feeling about being treated that way... :eek::rolleyes::eek::rolleyes::eek:)


The whole thing makes me want to throw up...poor kid. I'm hoping beyond hope this is a troll :(
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
A lot of lawyers are jerks and are liberal with their definition of truth.

Why d'ya think a forum where maybe 5% of the posters (if that) are practicing law would be any different?

No, seriously?

Completely totally wrong. I have already stated I am not an a$$**** but I am a b****. I am also not a jerk. HOW DARE YOU! Get it right. *smooches*
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Completely totally wrong. I have already stated I am not an a$$**** but I am a b****. I am also not a jerk. HOW DARE YOU! Get it right. *smooches*

<whistles>
<makes nice noises about the Bengals>
<offers chocowine>
<goes and puts on dunce hat>

:D

Soooo yeah, how about them Bengals? :D
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
<whistles>
<makes nice noises about the Bengals>
<offers chocowine>
<goes and puts on dunce hat>

:D

Soooo yeah, how about them Bengals? :D

I am closer to Cleveland who doesn't have a football team.
Right? I mean they don't. The closest ACTUAL professional football team is Pittsburgh.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
Completely totally wrong. I have already stated I am not an a$$**** but I am a b****. I am also not a jerk. HOW DARE YOU! Get it right. *smooches*

Actually you can be bit of both, as many of us can, but mostly you are just a really caring Attorney/GAL that volunteers her time here to assist. Fot that I, personally, am grateful. ;)
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Actually you can be bit of both, as many of us can, but mostly you are just a really caring Attorney/GAL that volunteers her time here to assist. Fot that I, personally, am grateful. ;)

DISAGREE. I am NOT an a$$****... I am a b***h. Dang, why are you being difficult? (And mother may get a bit upset with me for admitting that THREE times on this thread. ) You just won't stand for my confession, now will you?
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
I am closer to Cleveland who doesn't have a football team.
Right? I mean they don't. The closest ACTUAL professional football team is Pittsburgh.

Define "professional" lol

Cleveland Browns! aka, the Tootsie Rolls :D

They've actually thrown a spanner in the "Oh we know who's going to the playoffs" process. They're making things fun in that AFC North division.

But they don't have Troy.

We love the Troy. We love the Troy's hair. Troy is good and handsome and has That Hair and and and and all other sorts of good stuff and the next person who makes me a a photo of Troy minus his hair is going to be subjected to raw liver and onion.

Respectully,

That weird Brit who knows more about the NFL than she does her own country's soccer teams.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
DISAGREE. I am NOT an a$$****... I am a b***h. Dang, why are you being difficult? (And mother may get a bit upset with me for admitting that THREE times on this thread. ) You just won't stand for my confession, now will you?

:p:p:p:p:p:)
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
This thread actually disappoints me a bit...

Here is a mom who "got it". She figured out that having her husband adopt was a mistake and that it wouldn't be wise to let her current husband adopt. She actually "got" that it was playing musical daddies and that she made a mistake the first time.

Not only that but she was married for 5 years before the stepparent adoption happened, so its not like she rushed right into it.

I think that the "bashing" on this thread was over the top. It doesn't change the legal reality, but come on people.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
This thread actually disappoints me a bit...

Here is a mom who "got it". She figured out that having her husband adopt was a mistake and that it wouldn't be wise to let her current husband adopt. She actually "got" that it was playing musical daddies and that she made a mistake the first time.

Not only that but she was married for 5 years before the stepparent adoption happened, so its not like she rushed right into it.

I think that the "bashing" on this thread was over the top. It doesn't change the legal reality, but come on people.



Dude, seriously. I don't believe she "got it" for a New York second. Is she uneducated as to the minutiae? Oh hell yes. But really, that doesn't change the fact that she's looking for a way to change history.

This poor kid has had 3 "dads" by the time he's what, how old? This is a pretty clear indication that Mom needs work on herself before she even thinks of finding another Dad figure. Come on. You don't need to be in a committed relationship to be a great parent. What's far more important is self reflection, identifying your role in whatever mess and doing what is needed to do what the heck you can to try and make sure you're not going to keep making those self-destructive choices. It pushes the odds of finding a GOOD relationship, and a healthy, well-adjusted child much, much higher. Even if that means you never remarry or become an enternal fiance/e.

You've seen the parents who are essentially commitophiliacs.* Heck...what was her name? oh! stepmom4ever. Great example in terms of both her stepchild and her new child when the husband basically dumped her, the child and his responsibilities.

With all of my rambling, it doesn't alter the fact that the OP's posts and responses to have "troll" screaming out of every letter.

(* yes, I made that word up but it seems to fit)
 
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stealth2

Under the Radar Member
If I die and my ex has custody, he will still be an orphan. The man doesn't want him.

Not legally, which is what matters at this stage of the game. The best piece of information you received is to consult with a local attorney regarding standby guardianship, should something happen to you. Otherwise, just be the best parent you can be.

And everyone else? You know I love you all. (usually :cool:) But really? 6 pages of castigating OP? Come on! I'd claim the boredom of 2 1/2 weeks in hospital, if I'd been part of it - What's your excuse?
 
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