surrendering rights to child

[TNparent]

"You must be special, because you gave no advice"

well, I am special, thank you.

And I have no reason to give legal advice on a subject that I only have personal feelings about but no experince in a court with.

Congrats to you for stating the fact on the therapy. Someone else can't express the same opinion along with a reason why they feel that way? I don't see a little copyright sign by the word therapy.

And yes, number of posts does count when it comes to advice given around here from what I've seen. If someone is around long enough to have 6 grand in postings, I think that tends to indicate they know what the heck they are talking about...I'll throw a word in here or there, but I won't go about acting as if I was an exacting authority (like you did) when I have yet to prove myself worthy of my advice being followed by consistency.

At least you got what you wanted, star attention on the string. It's now turned completely about you at your insistance. Talk about being "productive".

Got any other dirty secrets you'd wish to share?

 

[CALGON_ANYONE?]

"You must be special, because you gave no advice"

well, I am special, thank you.

And I have no reason to give legal advice on a subject that I only have personal feelings about but no experince in a court with.

Congrats to you for stating the fact on the therapy. Someone else can't express the same opinion along with a reason why they feel that way? I don't see a little copyright sign by the word therapy.

And yes, number of posts does count when it comes to advice given around here from what I've seen. If someone is around long enough to have 6 grand in postings, I think that tends to indicate they know what the heck they are talking about...I'll throw a word in here or there, but I won't go about acting as if I was an exacting authority (like you did) when I have yet to prove myself worthy of my advice being followed by consistency.

At least you got what you wanted, star attention on the string. It's now turned completely about you at your insistance. Talk about being "productive".

Got any other dirty secrets you'd wish to share?

I'm glad your special, I found this tonight posted by IAAL.

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE
Señor Member

Registered: Jan 2000
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 26019
Re: age

What is the name of your state? new mexico is it true that when your 14 you can decide who you want to live with?

My response:

No, it's not true. However, in a custody hearing, the judge will take into consideration the wants, needs and desires of a 14 year old when making a decision. But first, there must be a court hearing on the matter. A 14 year old can't just wake up one morning and declare, "You know, I think I've decided to go and live with Mom / Dad". That's not how it works.

IAAL(QUOTE)

 

[Born to Lease]

http://www.alllaw.com/articles/family/divorce/article59.asp

Read this, and I think it will become very clear what it means to children for their parents who find themselves in this situation to make every sacrifice and do whatever it takes to ensure their children's relationship with BOTH parents.

I have a little 4yr. old daughter who would LOVE to have 5 minutes with her father, a man whom she has never met. The emotional affects that have already begun to surface are PROOF that children NEED both parents, unless the other parent is abusive or the child's safety or emotional welfare would be put at risk.

I witness the pain and suffering she endures everyday because "she does not have a Daddy". How does she know she is missing anything, since she has never known what it means to have a father? She is human, and the fact that no woman can conceive a child without a man...our children are made up of both parents, and they are made to need both parents to be emotionally complete.

Oh and now that I have filed with the court to have him submit to paternity tests, I will soon be forced to encourage the relationship between this heartless man & my precious little girl...because it is best for her, despite all the pain he caused me!

 

[CALGON_ANYONE?]

http://www.alllaw.com/articles/family/divorce/article59.asp

Read this, and I think it will become very clear what it means to children for their parents who find themselves in this situation to make every sacrifice and do whatever it takes to ensure their children's relationship with BOTH parents.

I have a little 4yr. old daughter who would LOVE to have 5 minutes with her father, a man whom she has never met. The emotional affects that have already begun to surface are PROOF that children NEED both parents, unless the other parent is abusive or the child's safety or emotional welfare would be put at risk.

I witness the pain and suffering she endures everyday because "she does not have a Daddy". How does she know she is missing anything, since she has never known what it means to have a father? She is human, and the fact that no woman can conceive a child without a man...our children are made up of both parents, and they are made to need both parents to be emotionally complete.

Oh and now that I have filed with the court to have him submit to paternity tests, I will soon be forced to encourage the relationship between this heartless man & my precious little girl...because it is best for her, despite all the pain he caused me!

Look, that is all good and dandy, but this is not"DEAR ABBY"., and it is way off base from the poster's question.

 

[nextwife]

And her answer is NO. She doen't get to have him stop being the legal father but continue to financially be the father. Fathers and their wallets come as a set.

 

[Born to Lease]

Calgon, you need a very long hot and relaxing bath...in case you did not pay attention (if you actually read the article) it is advice given by an attorney! Even the legal experts are saying to you and others how much is at stake here, legally or whatever!

WTF do you think this issue is all about if it is not about the child? And WTF is your emotional hang-up about everyone else, other than you and the mother--which I still believe YOU ARE THE MOTHER, just logged in under another name--having concern for this child and all other children!

OR, did the judges decision in your own personal case as a child leave you bitter & scarred???

The matter surrounding this LEGAL ISSUE is in fact a matter of DOING WHAT IS BEST FOR THE SAKE OF A CHILD. Whenever a person, especially a mother, refuses to take the advice of complete strangers who are genuinely concerned, emotional pleas are made in an attempt to spare a mother and her child from imminent heartache & pain that will adversly affect this child life forever! NOT the divorce, NOT the affair, but the actions of this mother!

Now my advice to you is that you go and let CALGON...TAKE YOU AWAY!!!

 

[CALGON_ANYONE?]

Calgon, you need a very long hot and relaxing bath...in case you did not pay attention (if you actually read the article) it is advice given by an attorney! Even the legal experts are saying to you and others how much is at stake here, legally or whatever!

WTF do you think this issue is all about if it is not about the child? And WTF is your emotional hang-up about everyone else, other than you and the mother--which I still believe YOU ARE THE MOTHER, just logged in under another name--having concern for this child and all other children!

OR, did the judges decision in your own personal case as a child leave you bitter & scarred???

The matter surrounding this LEGAL ISSUE is in fact a matter of DOING WHAT IS BEST FOR THE SAKE OF A CHILD. Whenever a person, especially a mother, refuses to take the advice of complete strangers who are genuinely concerned, emotional pleas are made in an attempt to spare a mother and her child from imminent heartache & pain that will adversly affect this child life forever! NOT the divorce, NOT the affair, but the actions of this mother!

Now my advice to you is that you go and let CALGON...TAKE YOU AWAY!!!

Your efforts are moot, and please stop trying to clean up your comments. You went off on this lady, as far as to say it was her fault.

I do not care how many cyber friends you have on this board, there was not one attorney that replied too her, so get over it.

Please do not give me unasked for advice ok?

 

[Born to Lease]

OK, the article that I recommended that you (you are the mother, logged in under a different name--duh!) read was written by an attorney...NO the attorney did NOT respond to this post or anywhere else on this website, not that I am aware of anyway. I see you did not go to the website therefore you did not read the article, THE ARTICLE WRITTEN BY AN ATTORNEY.

Anyway, I am not going to answer any more of your crap because it is obvious to me that you are in great need of help & you are not going to be able to follow the advice of anyone until you have received the help you need in order to first get YOUR issues resolved.

In NO WAY am I making an attempt to "clean up my comments" as I do not believe I should. Everyone is allowed to express frustration and anger, & I believe it is far better to "yell" or say things that get a person's attention in matters as important as this particular situation. Much the same as your son's attitude and temporary anger toward your X-Husband. Are you saying that, if your son gets angry toward you, his attitude change from angry to "over it" would be considered the child's attempt to "clean up his comments"? That is rediculous, & I sincerely hope that is not the way you really view people's actions & tones.

AGAIN, I never implied that an attorney replied to anything on this forum. Since you did not put any value on anything the rest of us told you (based on our own experiences--trying to help you and your child avoid some of the pain we have experienced) I thought I would point you in the direction of this article, written by an attorney (rather than taking the advice of some idiot on a forum, like myself--My education does not include legal or extensive psychological studies, just some life experience that taught me A LOT)

Thank God I am employed FT again, & some family members are going to relieve me of my long shifts staying up here at the hospital with a terminally ill relative! I do not think I will ever choose the internet as an alternative reading the newspaper and a few good books to fill long periods of idle time.

I am sure you all will miss me, but just know that my thoughts are with you all and I wish you all the very best!

FYI--your multiple identies on this forum are EASILY tracked so your efforts to conceal your "identity" is not fooling anyone!

 

[CALGON_ANYONE?]

OK, the article that I recommended that you (you are the mother, logged in under a different name--duh!) read was written by an attorney...NO the attorney did NOT respond to this post or anywhere else on this website, not that I am aware of anyway. I see you did not go to the website therefore you did not read the article, THE ARTICLE WRITTEN BY AN ATTORNEY.

Anyway, I am not going to answer any more of your crap because it is obvious to me that you are in great need of help & you are not going to be able to follow the advice of anyone until you have received the help you need in order to first get YOUR issues resolved.

In NO WAY am I making an attempt to "clean up my comments" as I do not believe I should. Everyone is allowed to express frustration and anger, & I believe it is far better to "yell" or say things that get a person's attention in matters as important as this particular situation. Much the same as your son's attitude and temporary anger toward your X-Husband. Are you saying that, if your son gets angry toward you, his attitude change from angry to "over it" would be considered the child's attempt to "clean up his comments"? That is rediculous, & I sincerely hope that is not the way you really view people's actions & tones.

AGAIN, I never implied that an attorney replied to anything on this forum. Since you did not put any value on anything the rest of us told you (based on our own experiences--trying to help you and your child avoid some of the pain we have experienced) I thought I would point you in the direction of this article, written by an attorney (rather than taking the advice of some idiot on a forum, like myself--My education does not include legal or extensive psychological studies, just some life experience that taught me A LOT)

Thank God I am employed FT again, & some family members are going to relieve me of my long shifts staying up here at the hospital with a terminally ill relative! I do not think I will ever choose the internet as an alternative reading the newspaper and a few good books to fill long periods of idle time.

I am sure you all will miss me, but just know that my thoughts are with you all and I wish you all the very best!

FYI--your multiple identies on this forum are EASILY tracked so your efforts to conceal your "identity" is not fooling anyone!

I am not the poster, so I suggest you track it better, or prove yourself.

I'm dying for this one.

 

[TNparent]

Calgon -

Why don't you just go bug a different string? You can't even hold to your reasoning for even posting here. You jumped in to defend the original poster and now none of your posts have to do with it, but yet you are berating most everyone else for at least sticking to the subject, albeit not in the fashion YOU feel it should be.

If you have a problem with the fact that personal opinion is given by users of the community and not just legal advice by lawyers, then take your complaint to the people that run the website, i'll bet you a buck they will tell you what goes on here is perfectly acceptable...since, you know, it's been going on for quite a long time before you showed up...you'd think if they had a problem with it or thought it inappropriate they would have done something a long time ago.

Fact of the matter is, no one wins when custody ends up in a bitter argument in front of a judge. Parents need to work together outside of a courtroom. Two grown people shouldn't have to have a man or woman in a black robe hitting them over the head with a gavel to know that children need both parents and are not old enough to be given the choice. No one should need a lawyer to tell them that either.

It's called common sense.

 

[CALGON_ANYONE?]

Calgon -

Why don't you just go bug a different string? You can't even hold to your reasoning for even posting here. You jumped in to defend the original poster and now none of your posts have to do with it, but yet you are berating most everyone else for at least sticking to the subject, albeit not in the fashion YOU feel it should be.

If you have a problem with the fact that personal opinion is given by users of the community and not just legal advice by lawyers, then take your complaint to the people that run the website, i'll bet you a buck they will tell you what goes on here is perfectly acceptable...since, you know, it's been going on for quite a long time before you showed up...you'd think if they had a problem with it or thought it inappropriate they would have done something a long time ago.

Fact of the matter is, no one wins when custody ends up in a bitter argument in front of a judge. Parents need to work together outside of a courtroom. Two grown people shouldn't have to have a man or woman in a black robe hitting them over the head with a gavel to know that children need both parents and are not old enough to be given the choice. No one should need a lawyer to tell them that either.

It's called common sense.

Actually your post makes no sense at all. In two seperate posts I have been told that I "AM" this poster. Grow up, I was sticking to the subject and yes I defended this lady as is my right.

I think there is plenty of "Off Topic" posts for you to chase, so why don't you skip too it and keep busy.

 

[ellencee]

dnara
I skipped the ya-da-ya-da-ya-da posts and I hate to repeat information already provided, but here goes...

The father CAN NOT give up his rights to child support unless the court finds some valid reason for him to do so. The children CAN NOT refuse to go on visitation and you CAN NOT allow them to develop the bad behavior of refusing to go.

When and if Dad decides to tell a judge he wants to give up his parental rights because the children will not leave your home for visitation with him, in all likelihood, the judge is going to ask the father if he is willing to have the children live with him and visit with you. You are likely to be found in contempt of the visitation order and guilty of alienating the children from their father--grounds for an immediate change in custody.

You need to get it across to your children that they are restricted from anything but a heart beat and respirations until such time as they get their little misbehaving butts into the car and visit with their father like decent children should do. Turn off the TV, the phones, the sports events, scouting, sleep overs, favorite foods, allowances, any privilege what-so-ever until they learn to do as they are told to do.

You and only you are going to be held responsible for the failure of the father to have his children with him at court ordered times and the failure of the father to have a loving relationship with his children.

Time is wasting...get busy.
EC

 

[tigger2two]

although we haven't heard from the OP in 5 months LOL. This women is allowing her son to think it is okay to disobey court officials just as she has. I agree with another poster that she is just teaching her son to be a criminal. She even admitted that he refused to go to counseling as well. So my question is "does this woman have no control over her child at all?" sounds like the childs best intrest is with the father who needs to teach this kid some manners and respect.

 

[ellencee]

although we haven't heard from the OP in 5 months LOL

What?! Someone give the woman a call! Look at all the rage given a voice by her post!

So my question is "does this woman have no control over her child at all?" sounds like the childs best intrest is with the father who needs to teach this kid some manners and respect.

You're darn tootin' this woman has control over her child; it's visible in his behavior. He acts just like she does. She parents by failing to be a parent. (I get so tired of hearing parents say, 'I'm letting my child decide if he wants his head shaved and a ring in his nose even if he is in the second grade'--yeah, like he has the life-experiences necessary to make those decisions...It would be more honest to say, 'I'm a lazy, wussy of a parent and let my kids be a danger to themselves and others'.)

Maybe the child(ren) are in the custody of their father and she's too ashamed to come back and say so; maybe she's too ashamed to tell us she's been in and out of jail for failing to provide visitation...who knows.

I don't think she's teaching her children to be criminals; that would be the woman in the store the other day who told her 4 year-old daughter to put a bottle of expensive lotion in the mom's pocketbook--the child saw everyone turn around and look and put the lotion back on the shelf. This woman (OP) is teaching her children that they were part of the marriage between herself and her ex instead of being issue of the marriage. Divorce is bad enough on everyone without the children being made to feel responsible or accountable for the actions of the adults.

After 5 months of a no-show OP--Mary! Close this thread, please!

EC

 

[caligirl73]

Come on people

Ok......Have read the LONG postings from others on this topic (almost thought I was watching soap operas again!!), and there is good solid advice here. But, I do need to input my two cents on this one......I am the CP in my case, and my daughter has visitation with my ex every other weekend. I dont have to force her to go see him, she is happy to go. Although she tells me 2 and 3 days ahead of time how much she is going to miss me and my family while she is at her dad's, their is still a happiness from her to go see him. She also gets upset if she finds out that she is missing something while she is gone (I certainly dont mention it to her, but little pitchers have big ears!!) but she still goes.......I come from divorced parents myself. My brother and I lived with our mom when she and my dad divorced. He never came to see us, didnt call, nothing. He had SEVERAL affairs on my mom. Mom never had to tell us though (we could hear him talking on the phone to other women when mom was not around, ordering flowers for other women, or plain just not coming home some nights) we found that out on our own......Although physical custody was granted to our mom, never did my father excercise his visitation with us. Although if he had come to see us, I doubt either my brother or myself would have wanted to go with him, (we were 16 and 13 at the time they divorced).....
Kids do hold grudges againest their parents, and regardless if its right or not, obviously the OP children are bitter towards their father. I dont think that they should be "forced" persay to go with their dad, but if their dad really wanted to bond with them, he would try to talk to them on neutral ground, take them to dinner or somewhere they could talk alone. He would try harder to make sure they went with him, and if need be, pick the child up and put him in the vehicle as some one had mentioned.
DNARA- You should at least talk to the children as a ADULT and explain that their father does want to see them. You should keep your hatred towards your ex to a very minimum, dont let the children see that coming from you. Let the children express their feelings though, whether it be through counseling or talking it over with you. The 13 yr. old sounds like he definitley needs to still be in counseling, although YOU should go right along with him. Between the both of you, their is some hostile feelings that need to be sorted out.
My ex cheated on me several times, and yes I hate him for it. But that isnt my daughters fault and as much as I hate to see him when he comes to pick her up, he is still her father regardless. I just feel pity for his new wife (number 3), but she is a rude and nosy person so actually they are perfect together!