Update with questions

[SITLYNNE]

I think you're in a tough place, but I pretty well agree with Zephyr's take on things. You're more likely to have success with your 11yo than with the 16, but 16 may well come around as he gets a bit older. Those mid-teen years can be hard.

As for what your lawyer is doing.... a lot depends on how you feel about him. I spent a lot of time researching various options wrt custody and all, but at the end of the day I was paying my lawyer because I trusted that she knew what she was doing. But she was very good at explaining the why's and wherefore's and leaving the final decision up to me. So perhaps a candid discussion with him might be in order.

In terms of your other issues on FA.... well.... you're unlikely to get on rmet's good side at this point. You have, however, gotten some good and solid advice from others, and that would be a shame to just quit. Although I'm not a huge fan of the Ignore feature, that might well be your best option. Just saying.

Thank you so much.
I do trust my atty this time around, he does not ever sugar coat it. Tells me like it is and what he suggests and lets the rest up to me.

As for my oldest, I know this site is not for these issues, but I must share that I just got back from the store where he works and ignores me and gives me and my whole family ugly looks. Seems he talked to my mom this morning, said "hi, mam" to her, that's what he calls her, she approached him expecting his usual cold shoulder or him to run away and hide, but he said hi. She told me, so off I went to the grocery store to buy things I really didn't need.
Went right up to him, said hi, he said hi, asked him how his vacation to Fl was, he said good, asked if he had fun, he said yes, now, he's making eye contact and smiling at me, I ask if his brother got his balloons and stuffed animal I sent him a few weeks ago for his birthday, he said yes and added that he kept them too, then I told him he looks good, he said thanks, then I said over and over , I love you, he just kept smiling and saying, I know, then I said I miss you, he said I know, then I said yes, you do know how much I miss and love you. Then I asked for a hug before I left and he almost gave me one until he remembered where we were, and he said with a smile, I'm at work, embarrassed, I said, sorry, I don't want to get you in trouble, so I'll just go, I'll talk to you later and I love you.
I'm so happy with this. It's like we've just climbed to the top of Mt. Everset. Just hope his dad doesn't find out.
Not sure about his change in attitude, maybe my last few months of efforts and dad getting those court filings? Don't know. Hoping he's happy I'm fighting back. He sure wasn't mad or sad, and that is saying something. It's a 360 degree turn around from just a few weeks ago and all the hatred for about a year and a half.

 

[FrustratedMommy]

You were fine until you got here. Sometimes, situations don't call for being nice. Like..... What can I do to keep my babydaddy away from the kid 'cause I decided that even though I really liked him when we were dating 'cause he was a bad boy, I've decided I don't like him that much anymore? Or.... My ex's g.f is younger and prettier than I am and the kids like her - how can I make sure my ex doesn't get to see the kids?

This isn't a board geared towards just being nice. That's oprah.com. This is a place that deals with serious situations that impact people's lives seriously. Sometimes "nice" just doesn't cut it. Which is not to say that sometimes responses aren't over the top. But a blanket "if you can't say anything nice" policy isn't going to fly. Sometimes a dose of reality is needed.

Ya know your right I dont disagree with that however, the crap that was being posted I cant figure out how that pertains to the original questions in this post. Thats all. I could be wrong, but I dont see how it pertains at all.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Ya know your right I dont disagree with that however, the crap that was being posted I cant figure out how that pertains to the original questions in this post. Thats all. I could be wrong, but I dont see how it pertains at all.

OP's original post on this forum was regarding the very same issue, she was given advice from another senior member who happens to be an attorney and she ignored the advice. That was a year ago. She is not here for advice, she is here for a different purpose, to get sympathy.

This is a legal forum not a rant/vent/support group. I have been very helpful to her. I have answered her questions and given her links when needed so she could follow up with what she could do on her own, which she forgets and which she ignored like she ignored the advice she was given in the first thread. That is why she has made no progress. Her son is old enough to work in a grocery store but isn't able to use a pay phone to call her? How is that MY fault? That is why you don't see other senior members saying anything different about my advice. She doesn't come here for advice, she come here for sympathy. Your statement

If you cant say anything nice keep quiet.

may be fine when teaching your children how to interact, but it is not appropriate when serious legal questions are asked and the answers are not what op want's to hear, deleting the thread only shows OP's inability to deal with reality.

When I asked her why she didn't take BB's advice last year, she claimed he didn't tell her how to do it, when he had linked her to a PA legal site and gave references to where to obtian books that would give her the step by step process to file the motion for contempt. I have also given her links to the government offices she needed to contact. WHat is really sad is that after OP has made over 230 posts and received advice from many other posters besides me, she is in exactly the same place as she was 1 year ago.