Why is child support around???

[DRAGONSFIRE]

Countries that don't have a CS system have tens of thousands of kids left to rot, unloved and unwanted, in a system of orphanages. They then age out at about 16 - and get kicked out onto the streets with no family, little education, and no options. That's why there is CS.

The only thing is, not all kids who dont have child support payments are like this. I know plenty of people who dont receive support and the kids turned out great reguardless. I also know of others who get CS and NONE of the money goes to the kids, and they are the one unloved. Just because there is or is not any CS it does not affect how the kids turn out. That is at the hands of the CP.

 

[nextwife]

That's not less than I would be making if I did have a job. I have no college degree so it's not likely that I would make more than min wage. So trust me, my ex needs to be thankful that I don't work. His cs is based on my working and he doesn't have to pay half of daycare. I save him hella money.
Sometimes it's in the best interest of the NCP for the CP to be a stay at home parent.

Why do you presume that a woman without a college degree is limited to minimum wage? I make a very nice living, enough to have brought a beautiful home in the suburbs MYSELF, with NO college degree. If a woman has drive to stick to a discipline and learn it, she can make good money in certain fields regardless of having a degree.

And lots of people in my industry without college degree have made very nice incomes.

Seems to me that many woman who whine that they aren't capable of making more than minimum wage just have decided they are going to settle for less than they could get. They sell themselves short. And if a woman is going to go ahead and have kids, maybe she should FIRST figure out how she'd afford to raise them if the other parent suddenly dropped dead, became disabled, and she had to rely on her income ONLY. Having another parent help with support is fine, but people DO become suddenly severly disabled, ill, unemployed, and die. WE STILL need to plan what we'd do if we needed to raise them on our own incomes. One should NOT be having children with the idea that they will stay home and never need to work- unless they have a nice trust fund to live off of.

While a woman is sitting home, what retirement monies is she accumulating? How is she going to have any 401K, pension or other retirement funds sufficient to begin to meet the need? What about what her meds will cost when she gets older? One really needs to plan for both now AND the future! Is she expecting her KIDS to end up taking care of her when retirement comes? Once a child is in school, WHY does she need to "stay home" and wait for the rinse cycle?

I bring in a full time income, have all sorts of benefits available, AND put my child on her school bus each morning, and meet her school bus at the end of the day. WHAT benefit would she derive having me stay home during that intervening time? The ADDITIONAL money I bring in to support my child helps get her into a better school system, helps put money into college savings, and do other things that allow her to have a brighter future.

 

[haiku]

Why do you presume that a woman without a college degree is limited to minimum wage? I make a very nice living, enough to have brought a beautiful home in the suburbs MYSELF, with NO college degree. If a woman has drive to stick to a discipline and learn it, she can make good money in certain fields regardless of having a degree.

And lots of people in my industry without college degree have made very nice incomes.

Seems to me that many woman who whine that they aren't capable of making more than minimum wage just have decided they are going to settle for less than they could get. They sell themselves short. And if a woman is going to go ahead and have kids, maybe she should FIRST figure out how she'd afford to raise them if the other parent suddenly dropped dead, became disabled, and she had to rely on her income ONLY. Having another parent help with support is fine, but people DO become suddenly severly disabled, ill, unemployed, and die. WE STILL need to plan what we'd do if we needed to raise them on our own incomes. One should NOT be having children with the idea that they will stay home and never need to work- unless they have a nice trust fund to live off of.

While a woman is sitting home, what retirement monies is she accumulating? Is she expecting her KIDS to end up taking care of her when retirement comes? Once a child is in school, WHY does she need to "stay home" and wait for the rinse cycle?

I bring in a full time income, have all sorts of benefits available, AND put my child on her school bus each morning, and meet her school bus at the end of the day. WHAT benefit would she derive having me stay home during that intervening time? The ADDITIONAL money I bring in to support my child helps get her into a better school system, helps put money into college savings, and do other things that allow her to have a brighter future.

Great post!

 

[MominNJ]

Happy,
If you are trying to find a way to LEGALLY get out of paying child support, forget it. You came to the wrong forum, my man.

 

[Ron1347]

The only thing is, not all kids who dont have child support payments are like this. I know plenty of people who dont receive support and the kids turned out great reguardless. I also know of others who get CS and NONE of the money goes to the kids, and they are the one unloved. Just because there is or is not any CS it does not affect how the kids turn out. That is at the hands of the CP.

Umm...if a person receives CS, and if a person pays rent, has a housepayment, pays utilities, has a car payment, buys groceries, pays school taxes...then CS 'is' going toward the support of the child, even if the child doesn't receive anything else from it! 'ALL' of those things 'are' considered as 'supporting the child' from CS payments! Yep!...they are!

 

[brisgirl825]

Why do you presume that a woman without a college degree is limited to minimum wage? I make a very nice living, enough to have brought a beautiful home in the suburbs MYSELF, with NO college degree. If a woman has drive to stick to a discipline and learn it, she can make good money in certain fields regardless of having a degree.

And lots of people in my industry without college degree have made very nice incomes.

Seems to me that many woman who whine that they aren't capable of making more than minimum wage just have decided they are going to settle for less than they could get. They sell themselves short. And if a woman is going to go ahead and have kids, maybe she should FIRST figure out how she'd afford to raise them if the other parent ssuddenly dropped dead, became disabled, and she had to rely on her income ONLY. Having another parent help with support is fine, but people DO become suddenly severly disabled, ill, unemployed, and die. WE STILL need to plan what we'd do if we needed to raise them on our own incomes. One should NOT be having children with the idea that they will stay home and never need to work- unless they have a nice trust fund to live off of.

While a woman is sitting home, what retirement monies is she accumulating? Is she expecting her KIDS to end up taking care of her when retirement comes? Once a child is in school, WHY does she need to "stay home" and wait for the rinse cycle?

I bring in a full time income, have all sorts of benefits available, AND put my child on her school bus each morning, and meet her school bus at the end of the day. WHAT benefit would she derive having me stay home during that intervening time? The ADDITIONAL money I bring in to support my child helps get her into a better school system, helps put money into college savings, and do other things that allow her to have a brighter future.

Well I don't sit at home and wait for the rinse cycle. My kids are 5, 3, 1, and 2 mths. My three yr old is also diabetic and has many seizures. I stay at home and take care of them and make sure my daughter doesn't go into a reaction.
I didn't say that all women who don't have a college education can't make a decent wage.

So please tell me again how am I loser b/c I don't work. It is not always in the best interests of the children to go to daycare. I'd like to know who you think is responsible enough to take care of my daughter and her disease. I guess I'll just leave her with strangers to handle it so that way I can pay into my SS account and make sure that I can retire 50 yrs from now.
We all have to choose what is best for our individual situations. Right now my #1 priority is to take care of my daughter who's very ill. Think poorly of me, if you so wish.

Sarah

 

[thetsgtswife]

While a woman is sitting home, what retirement monies is she accumulating? Is she expecting her KIDS to end up taking care of her when retirement comes? Once a child is in school, WHY does she need to "stay home" and wait for the rinse cycle?

I am a working stay at home mom, I have a TSP through the military for my retirement and I have no intentions of allowing my children to take care of me in the future. The thought of my boys caring for me is frightening!!

I may go back out into the outside work force once my youngest hits school, but then I may chose to continue to work at home and just keep doing what I do. No matter what I chose, its my right(and other stay at home moms) to decide to stay at home and work(or do nothing) or go outside of my home to work. Doesnt mean I dont contribute, just means I do it in different ways.

I actually make more working at home than my husband does working outside of the home and I really enjoy getting to work while being here for my family, Im getting the best of both worlds.

So my point is that just because Im at home with my kids, not paying someone else to raise them, doesnt mean Im worthless, lazy and not contributing. I have just chosen a different way of working that allows me to be home with my family instead of working outside the home.

I just get the feeling that because some of us chose to stay at home with our kids we are looked down on and thats not ok. Nor would it be ok for me to judge any of you for working outside the home to support your family.

JUST MY O

TSGTSWIFE

 

[Ron1347]

As a former Childcare Provider (licensed), we from time to time had occasion to enroll 'Special Needs' children in our Daycare. We were shown, we were taught, by the children's parent(s), 'HOW' to take care of, handle, provide for, their children. That isn't so...out of the ordinary, nor unheard of!

 

[nextwife]

My mom had two siblings who were childhood diabetics, so I am not unfamiliar. However, in a couple years your child WILL need to go to school. At some point, presumably, they will be out of the house during the day. You could be using a portion of your time at home taking internet classes and getting a RE license or doing other enrichments that will allow you to re-enter the work force with more to offer.

 

[DRAGONSFIRE]

Umm...if a person receives CS, and if a person pays rent, has a housepayment, pays utilities, has a car payment, buys groceries, pays school taxes...then CS 'is' going toward the support of the child, even if the child doesn't receive anything else from it! 'ALL' of those things 'are' considered as 'supporting the child' from CS payments! Yep!...they are!

Yep, they are, say, IF THEY HAD BILLS TO PAY. Like the ones who live with parents, friends, relatives, and have no bills! Or those who do have a place, as well as a job, but the kid still runs around in clothes that dont fit them since the parent does not spend the money on the kid like they should. Not all parents spend money on the kids like they should, or take care of them like they should, they only worry about themselves, or kids they have in the new relationship. I see it all the time around here. Besides, I have know for years exactly what the courts consider as supporting a kid, so you dont need to tell me. The point I was trying to make is that CS does not cause how the kids turn out in life. It is how they are raised, and taught. The poorest people can raise a successful kid if they try hard enough and are determined.

 

[brisgirl825]

My mom had two siblings who were childhood diabetics, so I am not unfamiliar. However, in a couple years your child WILL need to go to school. At some point, presumably, they will be out of the house during the day. You could be using a portion of your time at home taking internet classes and getting a RE license or doing other enrichments that will allow you to re-enter the work force with more to offer.

Going to school with a liscensed nurse is not the same as having the local daycare try and take care of her.
I can't believe that you guys are so narrow minded. I am not worthless b/c I don't work outside the home. I have responsibilities to my children and esp to my daughter who is very ill right now. She is newly diagnosed and her blood sugars are extremely hard to control and her insulin needs change everyday.
How dare you people tell me I am a bad mom b/c I don't throw my kids to some other woman to raise.
I am also not going to let let my kids take care of me. We do things with our money like investment. And if I have to work at 70 then I will. We are taking precautions to save as much as we can to ensure our ability to manage w/o our children's help.

Sarah

 

[DRAGONSFIRE]

I am a working stay at home mom, I have a TSP through the military for my retirement and I have no intentions of allowing my children to take care of me in the future. The thought of my boys caring for me is frightening!!

I may go back out into the outside work force once my youngest hits school, but then I may chose to continue to work at home and just keep doing what I do. No matter what I chose, its my right(and other stay at home moms) to decide to stay at home and work(or do nothing) or go outside of my home to work. Doesnt mean I dont contribute, just means I do it in different ways.

I actually make more working at home than my husband does working outside of the home and I really enjoy getting to work while being here for my family, Im getting the best of both worlds.

So my point is that just because Im at home with my kids, not paying someone else to raise them, doesnt mean Im worthless, lazy and not contributing. I have just chosen a different way of working that allows me to be home with my family instead of working outside the home.

I just get the feeling that because some of us chose to stay at home with our kids we are looked down on and thats not ok. Nor would it be ok for me to judge any of you for working outside the home to support your family.

JUST MY O

TSGTSWIFE

I do the same thing. I tried working outside of the home, but it didnt work, everywhere I worked got mad at me for leaving early when something happened to one of my kids. Of course I quit them jobs, went to college, while the kids are in school, and started my own business here at home. That way, Im making money, plus here for my kids everyday! Plus my husband has a great job that if, God forbid, something would happen to him, not only do I get $100,000 for life insurance, but an additional $2000/mo (for now) after he passes. I have no worries for the future. And there is nothing wrong with stay-at-home moms!

 

[brisgirl825]

I also don't plan to be a housewife. I am a stay at home mom, when there are no kids at home, you won't see me here either. I miss having a life, friends, and adult interaction on a daily basis. I want to go to work when the kids are in school. However, they aren't right now.

I am not sure where you got it that I don't ever wish to work.

Sarah

 

[Ron1347]

Yep, they are, say, IF THEY HAD BILLS TO PAY. Like the ones who live with parents, friends, relatives, and have no bills! Or those who do have a place, as well as a job, but the kid still runs around in clothes that dont fit them since the parent does not spend the money on the kid like they should. Not all parents spend money on the kids like they should, or take care of them like they should, they only worry about themselves, or kids they have in the new relationship. I see it all the time around here. Besides, I have know for years exactly what the courts consider as supporting a kid, so you dont need to tell me. The point I was trying to make is that CS does not cause how the kids turn out in life. It is how they are raised, and taught. The poorest people can raise a successful kid if they try hard enough and are determined.

I wasn't trying to 'tell' 'you', anything. Just stating something I know, that a LOT of people don't realize, when it comes to 'what' CS is considered as covering or applied to. It was a general statement, addressed to a general audience, not pointing at 'you' specifically. And...I do understand what your 'point' was. Wasn't insinuating you needed to be taught anything, or have a lack of knowledge on the subject. Just made a simple commentary.

 

[DRAGONSFIRE]

I wasn't trying to 'tell' 'you', anything. Just stating something I know, that a LOT of people don't realize, when it comes to 'what' CS is considered as covering or applied to. It was a general statement, addressed to a general audience, not pointing at 'you' specifically. And...I do understand what your 'point' was. Wasn't insinuating you needed to be taught anything, or have a lack of knowledge on the subject. Just made a simple commentary.

ok, it just seemed like you were. Some people just make me mad when I think of how they are when it comes to kids/CS, ya know? I didnt mean to take it out towards you when replying.