Child support and Extra Curricular activities

[dryba]

What is the name of your state? Michigan

My question is this. I went several years without a child support order. My original divorce decree stated that we were to have joint custody of our 2 children and that I was to pay 58% of any of their expenses and my ex-husband was to pay 42% of any of their day to day expenses. It also outlined that he was to pay 42% of any of their extra curricular activities (ie. band equipment, uniforms, costumes,etc.). Well, after a few years, this situation did not work, he started to say that he didn't feel that he need to help pay for certain things. So I took him to court, got full custody and a child support order. Now the child support order does not state ANYTHING about extra curricular activities, so I am wondering if I legally can still hold him accountable to help pay for items such as drivers education costs, and summer school and night school costs.... Please advise! thanks!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Yes, he did have a right to protest paying for activities to which you did not both agree, that is a part of the decision making part of joint custody.

Now your custody order doesn't address these extra items, you had an opportunity to add that in, thus he doesn't have to pay extra for anything that is not in the order.

Did you have an attorney?

 

[dryba]

Well.. When he started refusing to pay for certain items, I filed a show cause hearing and the judge stated that he did NOT get to pick and choose what he pays for. Yes I have a lawyer and I did ask him about this specifically but because it only turns out to be a few hundred dollars he stated that it is not worth it to me to hire him again for this and that I should just file a hearing w/ the court. But before I do that, I want to make sure I am just in what I am thinking. If the orginal decree states that he is to help pay for extra curricular items, and the child support order does not override that doesn't that mean that it is still instated??? My lawyer did say that it would be worth my ex's wild to help pay for summer school and such as if my son does not graduate on time than he would be in for an additional year of child support on him. I hope this is making sense....????

 

[Silverplum]

(snip)
My lawyer did say that it would be worth my ex's wild to help pay for summer school and such as if my son does not graduate on time than he would be in for an additional year of child support on him. I hope this is making sense....????

Um...no. But I think you're being a grubby jerk about this anyway, so don't bother to explain.

 

[dryba]

I think that is pretty rude. I was just posing a question. I'm not trying to be a "grubby jerk". if you don't have any SOUND advice to give.. than shut it! Do you have teenagers?? Do you know how costly they are?? I don't think that was a fair statement to make.

 

[stealth2]

Your support order was modified to include a specified amount per month. If you wanted extracurriculars included, the modification hearing was the time to address it. Otherwise you have to file for another modification to add it in. I don't believe he's otherwise obligated for the additional expense.

 

[stepmom&mom]

Generally speaking, the child support you receive is supposed to help fund those activities. If it is not indicated anywhere in the child support order that he must pay extra, then you would have to request a modification to have that included. There is no guarantee that your request will be granted.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

It is highly unlikely that if your child is failing in school to the point of requiring repeating an entire year of school, that you ex paying for extra curricular activities, to which he did not agree, is going to improve the situation. That is why your new order doesn't contain that language. You can choose to pay for other activities out of the child support you already get, but I suggest you look carefully at what those activities are and the suitability given your child's academic deficiencies. That is why your attorney suggests you do it on your own, because your case is weak.

It sounds like your child needs to concentrate on his regular school work rather than too many distractions. Most schools won't allow a child to participate in school sponsered activities with less than a certain grade in all classes. Of course you can exploite both your child and your ex by continuing as you are doing.

 

[Silverplum]

It is highly unlikely that if your child is failing in school to the point of requiring repeating an entire year of school, that you ex paying for extra curricular activities, to which he did not agree, is going to improve the situation. That is why your new order doesn't contain that language. You can choose to pay for other activities out of the child support you already get, but I suggest you look carefully at what those activities are and the suitability given your child's academic deficiencies. That is why your attorney suggests you do it on your own, because your case is weak.

It sounds like your child needs to concentrate on his regular school work rather than too many distractions. Most schools won't allow a child to participate in school sponsered activities with less than a certain grade in all classes. Of course you can exploite both your child and your ex by continuing as you are doing.

Rmet was kind enough to S-P-E-L-L I-T O-U-T for the poster, but it all sounds like grubbiness to me....let the kid fail, it's okay...poster gets a whole extra year of child support! Yay!

And in the meantime, perhaps the poster would care to explain how it is that the child is FAILING and STILL PARTICIPATING in (expensive) extra curricular activities???

 

[dryba]

Thanks to all that have given advice.

I was specifically asking about summer school being regarded as "extra curricular". But somehow that got mixed up in interpretation. I do NOT exploit my children, my son is failing and for that he has gotten a part time job to help pay for summer school since it is his fault that he is failing but since I am going to have to make up for part of it, if I want him to graduate on time my question was legally do I have any grounds to ask for help from my x? I understand that he does not have to help but as my lawyer stated "it would be in his best interest to help".

 

[stealth2]

Uuuuh, I would think it would make more sense for the kid to focus on schoolwork rather than a job to help pay for summer school - that seems totally counter-productive. Just from a personal perspective, if my kid got to the point (on my watch) that s/he had to attend summer school, I would expect to be paying the bill as it would be clear I had not done my job adequately.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Thanks to all that have given advice.

I was specifically asking about summer school being regarded as "extra curricular". But somehow that got mixed up in interpretation. I do NOT exploit my children, my son is failing and for that he has gotten a part time job to help pay for summer school since it is his fault that he is failing but since I am going to have to make up for part of it, if I want him to graduate on time my question was legally do I have any grounds to ask for help from my x? I understand that he does not have to help but as my lawyer stated "it would be in his best interest to help".

Your initial question was not about summer school, nor did you mention that your son was failing. You said:"It also outlined that he was to pay 42% of any of their extra curricular activities (ie. band equipment, uniforms, costumes,etc.)."

At this point you have more influence over your son than your ex, and if he is failing at this point, it is due in part to your supervision. It sounds like having him work a part time job to pay for summer school is a very good idea, which will teach him more than spending the money in court.

 

[dryba]

Ok. sorry to have bothered. I can see no one here has teenagers and does not understand my positon. Nevermind. thanks anyway. I think I have gotten some bits of good advice here.

 

[tigger22472]

Thanks to all that have given advice.

I was specifically asking about summer school being regarded as "extra curricular". But somehow that got mixed up in interpretation. I do NOT exploit my children, my son is failing and for that he has gotten a part time job to help pay for summer school since it is his fault that he is failing but since I am going to have to make up for part of it, if I want him to graduate on time my question was legally do I have any grounds to ask for help from my x? I understand that he does not have to help but as my lawyer stated "it would be in his best interest to help".

Yeah!! THERE's a solution. You child is failing in school yet instead of cutting back on things he ADDS them by having an even part time job! I understand that it may be expensive to send him to summer school but that is part of the territory of being a parent and as point out without it being in the order dad isn't required to provide any extra monies.

Do be aware though that your child's failing in school CAN reflect on you and if it continues... or dad pushes the issue could end up as a change in custody.

 

[tigger22472]

At this point you have more influence over your son than your ex, and if he is failing at this point, it is due in part to your supervision. It sounds like having him work a part time job to pay for summer school is a very good idea, which will teach him more than spending the money in court.

Although I would generally agree with a child working while in school... however, not when they are obviously failing to the point in which retention is a HUGE possibility.