it worked

[stealth2]

well my ex has nothing compelling against me except that I haven't been around for 9 years. Yes I know that's huge. But that's it. So if she contests it, the judge will have to give me supervised visitation. It is my right afterall, according to you guys I can do this at any time. How long until visits wouldn't be supervised?

Yes, it IS huge. And if the kid is going to a counselor, the counselor may well be called to give his/her expert opinion on the wisdom of having you stroll back into the kid's life. The judge does NOT have to give you anything if he feels it's not in the kid's best interests. Do you not understand that? This is not going to be a cakewalk for you. It is your right to FILE for visitation, not be awarded it.

Noone can tell you how long visits - IF the judge awarded them - would be supervised. That could depend completely on how it goes. You can, however, expect it to be a protracted process, where you'd start with an hour or so, then maybe a morning, then a whole day. So unless you're committed to seeing it through - don't bother and offer to let stepDad adopt the kid.

 

[msdad]

She did put him in counseling. But from what I've heard from my mother, he (son) is more of a "everything's fine, I have no problems" kind of kid. So I have that in my favor right?

Like I posted before. Stepdad is willing to suck me dry in constantly trying to go back to court. Can they really keep prolonging the visitation if I get it? How long typically ( I know you can't say for sure) does th first visitation take after I file?

Why would I have to pay for the visits if they move? I'd still be in the state, they'd be the ones who moved. Shouldn't they be the ones to pay?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

No that is not in your favor, him being well adjusted shows that the mother has provided a happy and healthy enviroment in spite of the fact that you emotionally abandoned the child.

While usually the moving party pays for transportation, since moving will be in the best interest of your child and you have abandoned the child for 9 years, the judge in their discression can rule anyway they please if it is in the best interest of the child, why should he rule to take money away from the child's care to pay for you to visit him when you could have all along? Use your head!

 

[tabathadolley]

She did put him in counseling. But from what I've heard from my mother, he (son) is more of a "everything's fine, I have no problems" kind of kid. So I have that in my favor right?

Why would I have to pay for the visits if they move? I'd still be in the state, they'd be the ones who moved. Shouldn't they be the ones to pay?

In your favor?? You need to start looking at what's in the favor of your child. I'm apalled at everything you've said because it's all been about you! This isn't about you, it's about that little boy that has been without his father for nine years because he wasn't interested or had better things to do. My father was out of my life until I was five, and I thank God he made the move to become part of my life. It really made the whole difference that he made that move. Maybe you need to stop playing around and think about what your child needs.

And don't say you know how to parent a child because your girlfriend has kids. You mean you are willing to parent someone elses kids while your child doesn't have his father? That's disgusting.

And why should they pay for your visitation? You haven't showed an ounce of interest in seeing him over the years, and they should pay for you to see him? Show your child that you are his dad and do the right thing.. geez.

 

[AHA]

She did put him in counseling. But from what I've heard from my mother, he (son) is more of a "everything's fine, I have no problems" kind of kid. So I have that in my favor right?

Like I posted before. Stepdad is willing to suck me dry in constantly trying to go back to court. Can they really keep prolonging the visitation if I get it? How long typically ( I know you can't say for sure) does th first visitation take after I file?

Why would I have to pay for the visits if they move? I'd still be in the state, they'd be the ones who moved. Shouldn't they be the ones to pay?

I get the distinct impression that you want to turn this into a battle of dicks with the stepdad, which is the total opposite of what you need to do if you want to be a father to your kid. Seems like you are more interested in beating the stepdad than becoming a good father for your son. If I, as an outsider, can see that so easily, what do you think a judge analysing your case will see??

 

[samson hejl]

What An A**

i AM A FATHER FROM OHIO, WHO IS FIGHTING DEARLY FOR CUSTODY OF HIS SON, MSDAD YOU GIVE FATHERS A BAD NAME. oNE OF THE REPLIES TO YOUR COMMENTS WAS, YOU ARE NOT A FATHER, AND YOUR NOT. yOU NEED TO LOOK AT WHAT IS BEST FOR THE CHILD. I HOPE YOUR SON FINDS YOU IN 10 YEARS AND BEATS YOU TO A PULP, FOR PUTTING HIM AND HIS REALFATHER AND MOTHER THROUGH THIS TYPE OF ABUSE. gROW UP! IT IS EASY WHATAN ASS. anD "I AM NOT LIABLE", THIS MAN MUST LIVE IN A TRAILER, SITTING WATCHING JERRY ALL DAY.

 

[jslopez711]

So what do you want?
Do you want to be a part of your son's life??????? Because you can still do that?

Or

Do you just want to make things hard for everyone????


You son aparently has a good role model. If you want to be your son's model then be it. 9 years is a long time so expect to make SACRIFISES. Yes!!

Do the RIGHT THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[lovemygirls2]

well I did want to see him a 1-1/2 ago. He was at my mothers house and I said I'd still go over there even though he was there.

I know that this one should be let to die, but I have to make a point that I noticed was not made. I'm not even sure if anyone else noticed. I have been reading here for a very long time, but haven't posted before now, because I mostly read for educational purposes and haven't ever had a need for any advice here.

msdad, you make me literally sick. You said you would still go over there "even though he was there"?

Ya know, you sound so much like the father of my girls that you really do make me sick. He went for about 3 years REFUSING to have anything to do with his daughters, and when they were at his mom's house got ANGRY because they were there, because he wouldn't go there when they were.

I hope you do what is right and let that child have the father that has always been there for him. I really do.

 

[tigger22472]

This is one of those classic cases where the NCP isn't so much concerned with having a relationship with the child but irritating the CP as much as possible. He knew if he contested the name change and showed back in the picture it would cause her anger. OP, YOU need to stop making this about YOU and how you can get even with your ex and think about your child!! But then again I'm sure you'll come back and say that everything everyone has said here about you isn't true... That's the MO with people like you.

 

[msdad]

Almost everything said IS true. I can see how everyone thinks that I'm not a nice guy. However, I've been honest, in order to get the best advice.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Almost everything said IS true. I can see how everyone thinks that I'm not a nice guy. However, I've been honest, in order to get the best advice.

Now have you figured out what the best advice is?

 

[tigger22472]

Almost everything said IS true. I can see how everyone thinks that I'm not a nice guy. However, I've been honest, in order to get the best advice.

It's not so much about your honesty as it is your attitude! Being honest and saying you haven't seen your child in 9 years is one thing. It's another to go and contest the name change, to NOT look at him afraid someone would see you, to say you would go to your mothers house 'even though' he was there, and just simply the attitude you have about this as if it's all about you. This is about a child who has been raised by another man and who is well adjusted. Did you ever stop to think that maybe he even had counseling in the first place was to deal with the fact that his biological parent wanted nothing to do with him? He's now dealt with that and come to accept that is the way things are ... he has the right to be a child and be happy. He has the right to go to school and come home to parents who love him and not worry about what YOUR next move is going to be. He should only have to worry about schoolwork and having fun with his friends. He's dealt with the fact you aren't around! By interrupting his life ESPECIALLY with the attitude and the way you've talked will do nothing but harm him. THis is not a case of a CP preventing you from seeing him. This is a case of you making NO effort.
You like the idea of saying you are a daddy. You like it that you can tell others what a horrible person your ex is. You like it that you can still mess with your ex just by the fact that you helped create a child, who cares that you haven't ever emotionally been there for him.
You know, there is a difference between what legally you are able to do and what morally you SHOULD do.

 

[TNBSMommy]

I've been honest,

you are HONESTLY a JERK!I really wish you would let this childs "DADDY" adopt him.

 

[msdad]

Yeah well you can say what you want, but I AM his father! I don't understand why you guys keep saying I'm not.

By the way...My ex's husband and MY SON are signed up for a father son karate class. THAT! In itself should be brought up in court because, HE is not my sons father! Even if my son calls him dad! Yeah so my son might know that his "dad" didn't make him, but when he gets old enough, he WILL KNOW that I am his REAL FATHER!

Also, so you guys don't keep praising my ex. I heard that she was out at a resturant with a bunch of girlfriends, and she was seen to be smoking, and having a drink! I only knew her to smoke socially, but I WILL bring up that she smokes! I heard that people lose custody over that!!!

 

[Rushia]

Yeah well you can say what you want, but I AM his father! I don't understand why you guys keep saying I'm not.

By the way...My ex's husband and MY SON are signed up for a father son karate class. THAT! In itself should be brought up in court because, HE is not my sons father! Even if my son calls him dad! Yeah so my son might know that his "dad" didn't make him, but when he gets old enough, he WILL KNOW that I am his REAL FATHER!

Also, so you guys don't keep praising my ex. I heard that she was out at a resturant with a bunch of girlfriends, and she was seen to be smoking, and having a drink! I only knew her to smoke socially, but I WILL bring up that she smokes! I heard that people lose custody over that!!!

You are a sperm donor, you are not his real father, his father is the man that has been with him for the past nine years and you have not. This man has done everything that you should have done while you chose to walk away.

Sorry, but no people do not lose custody for smoking or drinking, so if you'll excuse me, since my kids are in bed I think that I'll light one up and have a wine cooler.