No-show for visitation (On going)

[momof2boys1girl]

RMet, well they don't live close together so let's not worry about why or why not people are allowed to move in this free country and work on the problem at hand. I have been reading alot of posts on here (I'm new here) but it seem as you are always trying to start things with people who have moved for reasons of bettering a child's life or b/c the NCP has no contact w/ the children, so the CP should never move? That just makes no sense to me. The fact she moved AND he moved isn't the issue.

 

[thetsgtswife]

RMet, well they don't live close together so let's not worry about why or why not people are allowed to move in this free country and work on the problem at hand. I have been reading alot of posts on here (I'm new here) but it seem as you are always trying to start things with people who have moved for reasons of bettering a child's life or b/c the NCP has no contact w/ the children, so the CP should never move? That just makes no sense to me. The fact she moved AND he moved isn't the issue.

No Not always, this poster was and has been very helpful and always positive to me in regards to anything I have needed help with.


TSGTSWIFE

 

[amiegaines654]

I read your posts and not assuming anything other than what you have written. I am looking at the whole picture, objectively, not just your point of view. You have an issue with you ex MIL. If you had not moved then he would be creating the distance. If you don't want to wait, when he can't make it, take them to the MIL she is close to the sxchange place, don't blame it on the judge for making the order. Is there something in your order that forbids the children from contact with their grandmother? If the court order doesn't say anyting he can ask that you exchange with her if you don't want to wait if he is delayed, instead you have complained that they even have contact with her. If he lives with or closer to their younger brother, then of course he will be with him more than them because they are with you.

So rmet, what do you suggest she do??? Sit for 4, 5, 6, 7,8,.................plus hours??? Make her children sit uncomfortably in a car expecting to see dad and not seeing him?? You are making no sense. This is not all her fault. Maybe some blame for moving, but as far as I can tell, she is accepting responsibility for that.

I agree with the advise of documenting EVERYTHING!!! That is your best bet. Until you can get the court order changed, you will probably have to continue to make the trip for nothing, but try to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

RMet, well they don't live close together so let's not worry about why or why not people are allowed to move in this free country and work on the problem at hand. I have been reading alot of posts on here (I'm new here) but it seem as you are always trying to start things with people who have moved for reasons of bettering a child's life or b/c the NCP has no contact w/ the children, so the CP should never move? That just makes no sense to me. The fact she moved AND he moved isn't the issue.

Just because an onjective evaluation of the facts doesn't seem fair to you doesn't mean that the facts lose relevance. In issues like this, it is very important who does what when and in what order. OP makes many claims but does somehting else or blames someone else for their actions, that is their responsibility, not mine.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

No Not always, this poster was and has been very helpful and always positive to me in regards to anything I have needed help with.


TSGTSWIFE

Thabk you

 

[Zephyr]

does your order state how long you must wait for him, I think it is usually 1/2 hour and almost never more than 1 hour. you might want to also send a certified, return receipt letter to your ex, with a copy to the court, stating that in the last ? months he has been over 1 hour late ? so many times and not shown up at the location ? times, that you would appreciate it if he would abide by the order that was created for the benefit of the children and in the future you would like a phone call prior to the time you leave your home in the event of a cancellation or if he needs to reschedule the time of the swap, you are more than happy to meet him at a time that is more convenient for but it is not fair to make the children wait for hours or drive that far for no visit at all.
Having that in the file could be important later by showing that you did all you could to try to accommodate him.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

So rmet, what do you suggest she do??? Sit for 4, 5, 6, 7,8,.................plus hours??? Make her children sit uncomfortably in a car expecting to see dad and not seeing him?? You are making no sense. This is not all her fault. Maybe some blame for moving, but as far as I can tell, she is accepting responsibility for that.

I agree with the advise of documenting EVERYTHING!!! That is your best bet. Until you can get the court order changed, you will probably have to continue to make the trip for nothing, but try to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

It is very simply, if dad can't be there due to work etc. and she doesn't want to wait and he wants his mother to do the exchange (his mother lives in the same town as the exchange) which is not out of the way, then the children and mom don't have to wait for hours and dad gets his time. The court order doesn't prevent this from occuring nor does it order it, so mom used that as an excuse. The only reason she is waiting is have something to complain about and interfere with visitation. If and or when he takes her to court for contempt, the judge wil look at the facts, one of which will be that mom could have exchanged with grandmother if she didn't want to wait for dad..

 

[thetsgtswife]

Thabk you

Welcome!!!

TSGTSWIFE

 

[pissedoffmom]

I believe I have learned already that rmet.. has all the right to post his opinion. As to I have my right to completely ignore it because he has no clue of which he speaks because he don't know or refuses to believe the situation at hand.
As to sending him this letter, How would I go about presenting this to the court or having it added to our record there in which I may be able to have it there when we do return to court?

 

[Zephyr]

just write the letter, the copy you send to the judge include a cover letter requesting it be placed in your case file.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I believe I have learned already that rmet.. has all the right to post his opinion. As to I have my right to completely ignore it because he has no clue of which he speaks because he don't know or refuses to believe the situation at hand.
As to sending him this letter, How would I go about presenting this to the court or having it added to our record there in which I may be able to have it there when we do return to court?

You have no clue, you are assuming.
I AM A SHE!
Usually the more defensive you are when confronted with the facts the more likely there is to be more to the story being withheld.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

just write the letter, the copy you send to the judge include a cover letter requesting it be placed in your case file.

You have no idea what you are talking about.

 

[Zephyr]

well I am sorry if I have offended you "r", that course of action has worked well for me in the past, if you have different advice to offer the op, please do so, normally even if I don't agree with what you are saying I can see where you are coming from, but in this thread you have yet to offer a constructive piece of advice, I just see a lot of opinions and judgement coming from you, what would you recommend the op do?

 

[amiegaines654]

It is very simply, if dad can't be there due to work etc. and she doesn't want to wait and he wants his mother to do the exchange (his mother lives in the same town as the exchange) which is not out of the way, then the children and mom don't have to wait for hours and dad gets his time. The court order doesn't prevent this from occuring nor does it order it, so mom used that as an excuse. The only reason she is waiting is have something to complain about and interfere with visitation. If and or when he takes her to court for contempt, the judge wil look at the facts, one of which will be that mom could have exchanged with grandmother if she didn't want to wait for dad..

What you conveniently forget to mention is that the judge will also consider the fact the "dad" doesn't show up until he wants to. You have got to be crazy to think that he is right here. The judge will look at what is in the childs best interest. None of us really know what is going on here, but you seem to only side with the dad. It is obvious what your issues are. I am not saying that she should with-hold the kids, or that other arrangements can't be made, but you are only looking at one side. It can not possibly be in a childs best interest to sit in a car for 5 hours, only to have to come back the next day. The children are what comes first!!!! Why can people not see that? This is a sticky situation, and she must follow the court order, but that doesn't mean that she can't try to change it either!!!!

 

[momof2boys1girl]

P'd off mom, just make sure you keep your records. Rmet seems to always side with the rude parent or the one who is disrepectful with the courts and the children. Regardless right now until you change your order you have to keep doing the every other weekend bs with the dad. Call that number for free legal aid, get a court change in visitation, you can at least file the paperwork sometimes it can take weeks to get court dates. Keep it all in writing!! Getting the receipts for a pack of gum, etc...is wonderful advice. Good luck.