OT: High school senior sues parents for continued support

[stealth2]

Don't know the individuals involved, but I do know that area well. And it is chock full of the spoiled rotten - adults AND kids. I would bet the truth is smack between both stories, and both are at fault.

 

[LdiJ]

That depends on whose money is in the college fund. At 18 she is free to leave and screw up her life. If she wants to attend college she better hurry and earn that tuition.

In the article it says that she has been offered quite a few scholarships and I would just about guarantee that her parent's were not the only contributors to her college fund.

She is obviously not an irresponsible child or too mentally ill since she is an honor student and an athlete. I have a feeling that it went something like this:

Mom and Dad cannot stand the fact that she has an Hispanic boyfriend. They exert extreme pressure trying to get her to break up with him. (including mom calling her a foul name in front of a staff member at her school) She refuses. They finally give her an ultimatum...break up with the boyfriend or get out on her 18th birthday. They are astonished when she calls their bluff and leaves on her 18th birthday. Hispanic boyfriend's family takes her in. Parents then stop paying her high school tuition and threaten to give her college fund to her younger siblings hoping that the financial pressure will make her cave. Hispanic boyfriend's lawyer father is so upset with what they are doing that he takes up her cause and files the court case.

Parent's are now embarrassed and distraught that things have gotten to this level and are trying to defend their actions. They claim that she is unruly in school and bipolar and off her meds...and that her boyfriend is a bad influence. They also claim that her college fund is still available to her (they have carefully not stated that they never threatened to take it away from her). I suspect that the unruly in school will be proven to be untrue (honor student after all). I suspect that the bipolar and off her meds will be proven to be untrue as well. From their perspective I am sure that the boyfriend is a bad influence...whether or not that is true from anybody else's perspective is subjective. He certainly has not caused her to get into any trouble at school or with the police, and she doesn't appear to be pregnant.

In my opinion these parents messed up big time. They have a really good child who is someone to be proud of and they couldn't stand the fact that they could not control that one aspect of her life. I don't see this child as an ungrateful brat at all.

However, that is just my personal take on the situation.

 

[stealth2]

In the article it says that she has been offered quite a few scholarships and I would just about guarantee that her parent's were not the only contributors to her college fund.

She is obviously not an irresponsible child or too mentally ill since she is an honor student and an athlete. I have a feeling that it went something like this:

Mom and Dad cannot stand the fact that she has an Hispanic boyfriend. They exert extreme pressure trying to get her to break up with him. (including mom calling her a foul name in front of a staff member at her school) She refuses. They finally give her an ultimatum...break up with the boyfriend or get out on her 18th birthday. They are astonished when she calls their bluff and leaves on her 18th birthday. Hispanic boyfriend's family takes her in. Parents then stop paying her high school tuition and threaten to give her college fund to her younger siblings hoping that the financial pressure will make her cave. Hispanic boyfriend's lawyer father is so upset with what they are doing that he takes up her cause and files the court case.

Parent's are now embarrassed and distraught that things have gotten to this level and are trying to defend their actions. They claim that she is unruly in school and bipolar and off her meds...and that her boyfriend is a bad influence. They also claim that her college fund is still available to her (they have carefully not stated that they never threatened to take it away from her). I suspect that the unruly in school will be proven to be untrue (honor student after all). I suspect that the bipolar and off her meds will be proven to be untrue as well. From their perspective I am sure that the boyfriend is a bad influence...whether or not that is true from anybody else's perspective is subjective. He certainly has not caused her to get into any trouble at school or with the police, and she doesn't appear to be pregnant.

In my opinion these parents messed up big time. They have a really good child who is someone to be proud of and they couldn't stand the fact that they could not control that one aspect of her life. I don't see this child as an ungrateful brat at all.

However, that is just my personal take on the situation.

Inglesino is not Hispanic,nor is his daughter Jaime the girl's b/f. So, no - her Hispanic b/f's family did NOT take her in.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Good, then she can put on her Big Girl panties, drop the stupid court case and be a grown up.

In the article it says that she has been offered quite a few scholarships and I would just about guarantee that her parent's were not the only contributors to her college fund.

She is obviously not an irresponsible child or too mentally ill since she is an honor student and an athlete. I have a feeling that it went something like this:

Mom and Dad cannot stand the fact that she has an Hispanic boyfriend. They exert extreme pressure trying to get her to break up with him. (including mom calling her a foul name in front of a staff member at her school) She refuses. They finally give her an ultimatum...break up with the boyfriend or get out on her 18th birthday. They are astonished when she calls their bluff and leaves on her 18th birthday. Hispanic boyfriend's family takes her in. Parents then stop paying her high school tuition and threaten to give her college fund to her younger siblings hoping that the financial pressure will make her cave. Hispanic boyfriend's lawyer father is so upset with what they are doing that he takes up her cause and files the court case.

Parent's are now embarrassed and distraught that things have gotten to this level and are trying to defend their actions. They claim that she is unruly in school and bipolar and off her meds...and that her boyfriend is a bad influence. They also claim that her college fund is still available to her (they have carefully not stated that they never threatened to take it away from her). I suspect that the unruly in school will be proven to be untrue (honor student after all). I suspect that the bipolar and off her meds will be proven to be untrue as well. From their perspective I am sure that the boyfriend is a bad influence...whether or not that is true from anybody else's perspective is subjective. He certainly has not caused her to get into any trouble at school or with the police, and she doesn't appear to be pregnant.

In my opinion these parents messed up big time. They have a really good child who is someone to be proud of and they couldn't stand the fact that they could not control that one aspect of her life. I don't see this child as an ungrateful brat at all.

However, that is just my personal take on the situation.

 

[Proserpina]

In the article it says that she has been offered quite a few scholarships and I would just about guarantee that her parent's were not the only contributors to her college fund.

She is obviously not an irresponsible child or too mentally ill since she is an honor student and an athlete. I have a feeling that it went something like this:

Mom and Dad cannot stand the fact that she has an Hispanic boyfriend. They exert extreme pressure trying to get her to break up with him. (including mom calling her a foul name in front of a staff member at her school) She refuses. They finally give her an ultimatum...break up with the boyfriend or get out on her 18th birthday. They are astonished when she calls their bluff and leaves on her 18th birthday. Hispanic boyfriend's family takes her in. Parents then stop paying her high school tuition and threaten to give her college fund to her younger siblings hoping that the financial pressure will make her cave. Hispanic boyfriend's lawyer father is so upset with what they are doing that he takes up her cause and files the court case.

Parent's are now embarrassed and distraught that things have gotten to this level and are trying to defend their actions. They claim that she is unruly in school and bipolar and off her meds...and that her boyfriend is a bad influence. They also claim that her college fund is still available to her (they have carefully not stated that they never threatened to take it away from her). I suspect that the unruly in school will be proven to be untrue (honor student after all). I suspect that the bipolar and off her meds will be proven to be untrue as well. From their perspective I am sure that the boyfriend is a bad influence...whether or not that is true from anybody else's perspective is subjective. He certainly has not caused her to get into any trouble at school or with the police, and she doesn't appear to be pregnant.

In my opinion these parents messed up big time. They have a really good child who is someone to be proud of and they couldn't stand the fact that they could not control that one aspect of her life. I don't see this child as an ungrateful brat at all.

However, that is just my personal take on the situation.

A "really good child" who turns around and sues you?

Seriously? Would not that "really good child" simply grow up and realize that a) her parents don't control who she's hanging with and b) it's certainly not THEIR job to pay her backside through college?

You're basically implying that breaking your parents' rules - no matter what they are - should leave you with no consequences at all.

Sorry, I'm not subscribing to that.

(Not that I think her parents are stellar examples either)

 

[cbg]

Interesting.

Any grandparent, regardless of the reason or the relationship, who sues for visitation is BY DEFINITION a bad grandparent, because good grandparents do not sue.

But a spoiled brat who has reached legal adult age but sues her parents to continue paying her bills is a "really good kid"?

Funny how that works.

 

[Proserpina]

Don't know the individual's involved, but I do know that area well. And it is chock full of the spoiled rotten - adults AND kids. I would bet the truth is smack between both stories, and both are at fault.

Heh. Not gonna argue that point.

<--- also painfully familiar with the area.

I thought I heard that the place name was Bratsville though.

 

[Proserpina]

Interesting.

Any grandparent, regardless of the reason or the relationship, who sues for visitation is BY DEFINITION a bad grandparent, because good grandparents do not sue.

But a spoiled brat who has reached legal adult age but sues her parents to continue paying her bills is a "really good kid"?

Funny how that works.

GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

Okay I'll stop yelling.

The only reason I didn't bring that up was because I'm without caffeine and seeing double (no really, that last bit is annoying to the Nth degree).

 

[stealth2]

I will say that given our situation in this regard, I wonder how I can spin it to kiddo's advantage. Who DOES have scholarships, and DOES work, and I DO have a court order that her other parent pay for college. For two kids. I've managed for #1 (graduates in May), but am rapidly running out for #2. Which isn't right. Given that order was his idea - and he has a college fund for them.

p.s. Have I mentioned that he is a college prof? At a major school?

 

[LdiJ]

Interesting.

Any grandparent, regardless of the reason or the relationship, who sues for visitation is BY DEFINITION a bad grandparent, because good grandparents do not sue.

But a spoiled brat who has reached legal adult age but sues her parents to continue paying her bills is a "really good kid"?

Funny how that works.

I admit that I am viewing this differently than you are (and who wudda thunk that that it was not a Hispanic family with that last name and a girl being named with a Hispanic boy's name?...color me confused).

However, if you have a child who is an honor student...then you cannot have a child who is unruly in school or off her meds, because if that were the case she would have lost her standing as an honor student. In addition to that, who calls their child a foul name in front of high school personnel? In addition, what parent stops paying high school tuition when they are the ones who signed the contract and are legally liable for it and that its their credit that is going to be sunk for not paying it?

A lawyer actually took on this 18 year olds case knowing that the 18 year old had no money and that the lawyer would be sol if the 18 year old does not prevail?

So, I got it completely wrong about what caused the riff between the 18 year old and her parents. That doesn't however change my opinion that the parents made a huge mistake. We have many more years of an adult relationship with our children than we have a childhood one. To allow this kind of riff to happen that close to age 18, with a child who is not out of control, is a huge error in parenting in my humble opinion.

Also, I do not believe that an attorney would have taken on the case unless they believed that they would prevail.

 

[CJane]

A "really good child" who turns around and sues you?

Seriously? Would not that "really good child" simply grow up and realize that a) her parents don't control who she's hanging with and b) it's certainly not THEIR job to pay her backside through college?

You're basically implying that breaking your parents' rules - no matter what they are - should leave you with no consequences at all.

Sorry, I'm not subscribing to that.

(Not that I think her parents are stellar examples either)

Here's the sticking point, for me.

IF that "college fund" is, instead of an actual trust fund, one or several UGMA accounts in the child and parents' names, then it/they are HERS once she reaches the age of majority, REGARDLESS of what she intends to use them for, and regardless of her previous behavior.

I strongly suspect that these parents DO, in fact, owe their child quite a large sum of money. That they felt it was perfectly ok to use their child as a tax shelter while she was following their rules. When she stopped, they wanted her out, and "their" money back.

 

[Proserpina]

Let me qualify my response.

1. If it IS what Jane is suggesting - fair enough. If it IS what L is suggesting (regarding the high school tuition), fair enough.

2. Other than that, calling your kid names, refusing to let them buck your rules, hardly makes them more guilty than the daughter.


As far as an attorney taking the case - I think we can all acknowledge that some attorneys will take the case regardless, if they think it means they'll get more publicity what the result.

This one is actually a prime example. If she wins = good for attorney (I fought valiantly for her rights!). If she loses = good for attorney (I fought valiantly for her rights!).

 

[justalayman]

LdiJ;3249853]I admit that I am viewing this differently than you are (and who wudda thunk that that it was not a Hispanic family with that last name and a girl being named with a Hispanic boy's name?...color me confused).

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet but there are plenty of Jaime's that are not Hispanic.

I cannot find any origin for Inglesino. It appears to be an uncommon name. Maybe it's one that was made up like Corleone. (in the Godfather, the real family name was Andolini but the nice folks at Ellis Island took it upon themselves to change it to Corleone)

In addition to that, who calls their child a foul name in front of high school personnel?

People get pissed and sometimes they say things they shouldn't. It happens. I wouldn't base my entire view of the issue on this one matter.

but how about what the kid said to mom on a phone message:

Phone message left for Liz Canning from Rachel at July 2, 2013 1:18pm, submitted to Superior Court of New Jersey

'Hi mom just to let you know you're a real f**king winner aren't you you think you're so cool and you think you caught me throwing up in the bathroom after eating an egg frittatta, yeah sorry that you have problems now and you need to harp on mine because i didn't and i actually took a s*** which i really just wanna s*** all over your face right now because it looks like that anyway, anyway i f***ing hate you and um I've written you off so don't talk to me, don't do anything I'm blocking you from just about everything, have a nice life, bye mom'

-

In addition, what parent stops paying high school tuition when they are the ones who signed the contract and are legally liable for it and that its their credit that is going to be sunk for not paying it?

they can say what they want. If the contract is enforceable, they will pay for it. The refusal to pay is to make a point. I suspect the father knows what he is actually liable for and in the end, knows he will end up paying whatever he is contractually required to.

A lawyer actually took on this 18 year olds case knowing that the 18 year old had no money and that the lawyer would be sol if the 18 year old does not prevail?

first, it is the girls "best friend's" father. I would do a lot of things for my kid's best friends. I have spent more than the $12k so far spent in the case at hand helping my kid;'s friends (although not all on one kid).

Second, she is seeking attorney's fees as part of her suit.

So, I got it completely wrong about what caused the riff between the 18 year old and her parents. That doesn't however change my opinion that the parents made a huge mistake. We have many more years of an adult relationship with our children than we have a childhood one. To allow this kind of riff to happen that close to age 18, with a child who is not out of control, is a huge error in parenting in my humble opinion.

how does anybody get that, or anything else with any defined truth from what has been published? I have read nothing that suggests the parents are the bad guys here and nothing other than the girl is suing her parents that the girl is the bad person. There is a lot of finger pointing and no facts....


except CPS checked out the home in the past. Closed the case stating the kid was spoiled.

Also, I do not believe that an attorney would have taken on the case unless they believed that they would prevail.

Oh, come on now. This is GOLD as far as advertisement, regardless of winning or losing.


and whose to say the best friend isn't a bad influence on her? I've read nothing about the kid but just because his dad is a lawyer doesn't mean he is a good kid, bad kid, or anything else.

 

[Proserpina]

Holy Hannah - I didn't even realize she'd pulled a Reverse Baldwin!

 

[LdiJ]

Let me qualify my response.

1. If it IS what Jane is suggesting - fair enough. If it IS what L is suggesting (regarding the high school tuition), fair enough.

2. Other than that, calling your kid names, refusing to let them buck your rules, hardly makes them more guilty than the daughter.


As far as an attorney taking the case - I think we can all acknowledge that some attorneys will take the case regardless, if they think it means they'll get more publicity what the result.

This one is actually a prime example. If she wins = good for attorney (I fought valiantly for her rights!). If she loses = good for attorney (I fought valiantly for her rights!).

I can see where you are coming from on the attorney...but it still seems like an awful lot of billable hours going to waste to me...Again, unless the attorney really believes that he can prevail and collect from the parents.