OT: High school senior sues parents for continued support

[torimac]

Reverse Baldwin?

I have googled it, but as usual, I seem to be google impaired. What is a "Reverse Baldwin"?

 

[wavehopper27]

The kid's lawyer is not working on contingency or just for the publicity. The parents of the friend whose house she's staying at are footing the bill. These legal costs are part of what she's suing for.

 

[stealth2]

Please, God - make her pick one of the OTHER colleges.

 

[Ohiogal]

Another article:
http://www.cnn.com/2014/03/04/justice/student-sues-parents-new-jersey/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

The honors student? Was truant from school and playing hooky with her boyfriend.

 

[LdiJ]

Another article:
http://www.cnn.com/2014/03/04/justice/student-sues-parents-new-jersey/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

The honors student? Was truant from school and playing hooky with her boyfriend.

I think that article was the most comprehensive to date. I found it interesting that the school is fundraising to cover her tuition for the rest of the year so that she can remain at the school...because she is an honor student. Obviously the school believes in the child despite the fact that she made a mistake and was truant.

I still think that the parents gave her an ultimatum to either break up with her boyfriend or get out of their home. I simply wouldn't have done that. Not once my child was 18. I wouldn't have felt that I had the right.

 

[Zigner]

Not once my child was 18. I wouldn't have felt that I had the right.

You don't have the right to make rules for your adult-child to follow while living in your house?

 

[wavehopper27]

I don't care how old you are. If you are living under my roof on my dime, you WILL live by my rules. If you don't like it, don't let the door hit you in the fanny on the way out.

 

[LdiJ]

You don't have the right to make rules for your adult-child to follow while living in your house?

Rules? Yes...reasonable rules that adults sharing a household would follow. Rules of common courtesy to prevent worry. Rules of sharing household chores. Maybe rules of sharing some household expenses even. Rules about who they can and cannot date? NO. A curfew? Maybe...I would ride the fence on that one. I would more likely make it a rule that they call and tell me when they are not going to be home by a certain hour, so that I would not worry.

You cannot treat your adult child like a child and hope to continue an adult relationship with them. It simply doesn't work. I certainly have not liked everyone my daughter has dated. However, I have kept my mouth shut unless she has asked me for advice.

 

[BL]

Update:

http://www.cnn.com/2014/03/04/justice/student-sues-parents-new-jersey/index.html?hpt=hp_bn1

Denied .. 1st round ? Pleaese ..

 

[single317dad]

http://www.cnn.com/2014/03/04/justice/student-sues-parents-new-jersey/index.html?hpt=hp_bn1

Denied .. 1st round ? Pleaese ..

This is about what I expected to happen.

 

[single317dad]

I don't care how old you are. If you are living under my roof on my dime, you WILL live by my rules. If you don't like it, don't let the door hit you in the fanny on the way out.

Yes, you can remove the adult from your home via a legal process, but you can't, for example, lock them out or toss their belongings on the lawn, any more than you could a bf/gf.

 

[Ladyback1]

Rules? Yes...reasonable rules that adults sharing a household would follow. Rules of common courtesy to prevent worry. Rules of sharing household chores. Maybe rules of sharing some household expenses even. Rules about who they can and cannot date? NO. A curfew? Maybe...I would ride the fence on that one. I would more likely make it a rule that they call and tell me when they are not going to be home by a certain hour, so that I would not worry.

You cannot treat your adult child like a child and hope to continue an adult relationship with them. It simply doesn't work. I certainly have not liked everyone my daughter has dated. However, I have kept my mouth shut unless she has asked me for advice.

If she wanted to be treated like an adult, perhaps she should have behaved better/like an adult.

from the CNN article:

Canning was suspended from school for truancy last October, according to court documents filed by her parents' attorney, Laurie Rush-Masuret. Her parents told the teen that she could no longer see her boyfriend, who was also suspended from school. Car and phone privileges were also taken away. Once she learned of the punishment, Canning cut school again and then decided to run away, her father said in court documents.

I believe the parents acted in the best interest of the child in the above circumstances. She was SUSPENDED. You do not award bad behavior as a parent, you just don't. Little Miss Priss failed to realize that actions have consequences! And when she didn't like the consequences, she struck out to make her own way.

 

[RRevak]

Rules? Yes...reasonable rules that adults sharing a household would follow. Rules of common courtesy to prevent worry. Rules of sharing household chores. Maybe rules of sharing some household expenses even. Rules about who they can and cannot date? NO. A curfew? Maybe...I would ride the fence on that one. I would more likely make it a rule that they call and tell me when they are not going to be home by a certain hour, so that I would not worry.

You cannot treat your adult child like a child and hope to continue an adult relationship with them. It simply doesn't work. I certainly have not liked everyone my daughter has dated. However, I have kept my mouth shut unless she has asked me for advice.

I fully agree with this. A CHILD living in the home can be subject to rules a child would follow. Come home at a certain hour, keep grades up in school even if they're holding down a job, chores, be respectful etc. But a legal ADULT living in the home means a whole new set of rules. Parents can't say "you're an adult now so be an adult" while still trying to run the show is if they're still a child. It just can't be both. A child living in the home gets a curfew, a legal adult living in the home should give a reasonable time in which they'll return and a call if they don't. Rent should then be paid even if its a small amount. Personal expenses start being paid by the legal adult. All the things that go along with being an adult should come into play once the magical adult age is hit. Nothing makes me crazier than seeing parents say their kids are adults and should do adult things while still playing the nonsense of telling them they still have to abide by childlike rules. They're either adults or they're not.

Parents also can't tell their ADULT children who they can and cannot date. They lose that right when their kids stop being legal kids.

 

[TheGeekess]

I think that article was the most comprehensive to date. I found it interesting that the school is fundraising to cover her tuition for the rest of the year so that she can remain at the school...because she is an honor student. Obviously the school believes in the child despite the fact that she made a mistake and was truant.

I still think that the parents gave her an ultimatum to either break up with her boyfriend or get out of their home. I simply wouldn't have done that. Not once my child was 18. I wouldn't have felt that I had the right.

The school's padding their numbers so they look good to prospective students.

Same reason the SEC allows Vanderbilt to stay in the league.

 

[TheGeekess]

Rules? Yes...reasonable rules that adults sharing a household would follow. Rules of common courtesy to prevent worry. Rules of sharing household chores. Maybe rules of sharing some household expenses even. Rules about who they can and cannot date? NO. A curfew? Maybe...I would ride the fence on that one. I would more likely make it a rule that they call and tell me when they are not going to be home by a certain hour, so that I would not worry.

You cannot treat your adult child like a child and hope to continue an adult relationship with them. It simply doesn't work. I certainly have not liked everyone my daughter has dated. However, I have kept my mouth shut unless she has asked me for advice.

I fully agree with this. A CHILD living in the home can be subject to rules a child would follow. Come home at a certain hour, keep grades up in school even if they're holding down a job, chores, be respectful etc. But a legal ADULT living in the home means a whole new set of rules. Parents can't say "you're an adult now so be an adult" while still trying to run the show is if they're still a child. It just can't be both. A child living in the home gets a curfew, a legal adult living in the home should give a reasonable time in which they'll return and a call if they don't. Rent should then be paid even if its a small amount. Personal expenses start being paid by the legal adult. All the things that go along with being an adult should come into play once the magical adult age is hit. Nothing makes me crazier than seeing parents say their kids are adults and should do adult things while still playing the nonsense of telling them they still have to abide by childlike rules. They're either adults or they're not.

Parents also can't tell their ADULT children who they can and cannot date. They lose that right when their kids stop being legal kids.

The 18YO "ADULT" is expecting Mummy and Daddy to let her live in their house, pay her bills and she gets to be free of rules?

Girl wasn't paying ANYTHING. Girl is not an adult yet. Girl is still a child, Mummy and Daddy paying her expenses. Girl should be expected to follow rules.