Want to Go WITH my Kids

[kimberlywrites]

I think our OP has left the building. Maybe she's at work?

 

[tylersmom]

Maybe it's odd for a woman to feel so strongly, but I get ripped when mother's want to keep their children from their father because they are seeking revenge (if they didn't want the divorce.) Yes, some fathers don't deserve it, but I think in this day and age there are alot of good, involved dads out there and the laws maybe need to reflect that.

I hope you aren't suggesting that I think women should do that. My ex has everyother weekends custody (at his request) and is welcome to get him more when he wants to. Usually that is only when family members are visiting him, but at least he gets him. When I said he tries to threaten me with getting custody, he does not follow through because he knows that he doesn't want to assume that responsibility. Yesterday was our son's birthday and my ex didn't even call him. If he had primary custody of my son, yes, it would tear me apart. I'm not going to lie about that. But I'm also not going to act like I have more rights as a parent than he does. I chose to marry him, have sex with him, and have a child with him. Now he is a part of my life forever, and I'm sure most everyone would agree, its not an ideal situation. You do what you have to for your kids and try to make the best of it. If this woman can see all of this, and still is determined to leave, I just can't help but think there is something more to it (like another man). It's always easier to leave when you have a backup.

 

[kimberlywrites]

I hope you aren't suggesting that I think women should do that. My ex has everyother weekends custody (at his request) and is welcome to get him more when he wants to. Usually that is only when family members are visiting him, but at least he gets him. When I said he tries to threaten me with getting custody, he does not follow through because he knows that he doesn't want to assume that responsibility. Yesterday was our son's birthday and my ex didn't even call him. If he had primary custody of my son, yes, it would tear me apart. I'm not going to lie about that. But I'm also not going to act like I have more rights as a parent than he does. I chose to marry him, have sex with him, and have a child with him. Now he is a part of my life forever, and I'm sure most everyone would agree, its not an ideal situation. You do what you have to for your kids and try to make the best of it. If this woman can see all of this, and still is determined to leave, I just can't help but think there is something more to it (like another man). It's always easier to leave when you have a backup.

Oh no, I'm not suggesting that. What I mean is, in situations where the father wants equal rights. Your ex didn't, and just uses it to scare you now. i guess judges would have to weed out the true-intentioned dads from the threatening-only dads. I just see alot of posts from dad's who so desperately want more time with their children, and I've seen it happen to my own brother AND a friend.

 

[tylersmom]

Oh no, I'm not suggesting that. What I mean is, in situations where the father wants equal rights. Your ex didn't, and just uses it to scare you now. i guess judges would have to weed out the true-intentioned dads from the threatening-only dads. I just see alot of posts from dad's who so desperately want more time with their children, and I've seen it happen to my own brother AND a friend.

I have a male friend with 2 children. He is going through a divorce right now. His wife is a very unpleasant woman who have turned out to be a liar and a questionable parent. She left and wanted to come back and he said no. She is angry and wants to take his money and his children. He has at least 10 witnesses from the community that have testified about her questionable parenting skills and has several voice messages from her saying she was going to hurt herself and the children. She still got custody! He has every other weekend. It may just be the state of PA, but from what I have seen and heard, a woman would have to be shooting heroin in the courtroom to not get custody. Dads always get EOW. There isn't always justice. I applaud any dad that wants to step up to the plate and be a father. I think any mother should be happy about that too.

 

[tylersmom]

I think gottago had to go. If we don't hear anything back then I'm POSITIVE there is more to the story.

 

[kimberlywrites]

I think you're right. Inquiring minds want to know. As a reporter, I want those questions answered.
Regarding our post about your friend - see, that's what i'm talking about. It's wrong. Dads get EOW unless mom is willing to do it another way, which if she's not it should be for a GOOD reason - like suspected abuse etc. But those guys who are sincere and want it, and don't get it because mom is being difficult - man, what can we even do about it? Now I'm totally fired up about this.

 

[Ohiogal]

Then finding what 1 Kings 3:5 V19-21 is should be a piece of cake.

I am guessing that it is the story of the Wise King who had to decide how to split a baby between two mothers. I could be very wrong but I am guessing and haven't googled yet.
Okay just looked it up and it is actually I Kings 3 V 17-28 that tells the story of King Solomon. 19-21 is just the part where the baby dies during the night.

 

[tylersmom]

I think you're right. Inquiring minds want to know. As a reporter, I want those questions answered.
Regarding our post about your friend - see, that's what i'm talking about. It's wrong. Dads get EOW unless mom is willing to do it another way, which if she's not it should be for a GOOD reason - like suspected abuse etc. But those guys who are sincere and want it, and don't get it because mom is being difficult - man, what can we even do about it? Now I'm totally fired up about this.

Yeah, I'm kinda nosy. I probably would have made a good reporter!

 

[Ohiogal]

I have a male friend with 2 children. He is going through a divorce right now. His wife is a very unpleasant woman who have turned out to be a liar and a questionable parent. She left and wanted to come back and he said no. She is angry and wants to take his money and his children. He has at least 10 witnesses from the community that have testified about her questionable parenting skills and has several voice messages from her saying she was going to hurt herself and the children. She still got custody! He has every other weekend. It may just be the state of PA, but from what I have seen and heard, a woman would have to be shooting heroin in the courtroom to not get custody. Dads always get EOW. There isn't always justice. I applaud any dad that wants to step up to the plate and be a father. I think any mother should be happy about that too.

BULL! They dont always get EOW. I know for a fact based on cases I have seen and worked. Many get a lot more than that. It depends on a variety of factors.

 

[ceara19]

why would a child go to daycare when one of his parents is available and wants to care for him???

And I am not sure back and forth every other week here and there is the best thing for the kids. If it works for you guys, great. I am not sure that will be the best solution for us. I am a big believer in stability for children (sucks their family life isn't so stable right now - but working on that one).

I never said I wanted him to be an every-other-weekend dad. We will most likely only be at the most 40 mins apart at the most. He can see them as often as he would like. He will be welcome in my home and anywhere else our children go. If he wants to pick them up after work a couple of days during the week and hang out, even come back to my house to put them to bed, great. He is welcome. If it isn't 'his' weekend and he wants to do something with them, if we both are amenable to it, sure, go ahead. I hope he will feel the same if it is 'his' weekend and I wanted to do something with them
But I know we will not be this adult about the situation when it starts.
And as I said, I just don't want him trying to keep the baby from me when I tell him we are leaving.

Hey, here's a suggestion, why don't YOU "hang out" with the kids a few hours, then YOU can take them back to DAD'S house and tuck them into bed there? If you think it's such a fair and equitable agreement, you'll have no problem doing it this way instead.

 

[tylersmom]

BULL! They dont always get EOW. I know for a fact based on cases I have seen and worked. Many get a lot more than that. It depends on a variety of factors.

I am not saying they don't. I'm just telling you what I have seen in this state. I know one man who shares custody 50/50 and that is because his ex agreed to it. I'm sure that you have seen your fair share of injustices.

 

[AHA]

I'm confused.

OP, are you breast feeding a TWO YEAR OLD? Or did you let yourself get knocked up AGAIN knowing full well that you weren't happy with hubby? See why it's so frikkin irresponsible to delete threads and leave out facts?!!

Obviously hubby HAS to work so much to support you being at home procreating. How exactly are you going to afford to support yourself and 3 kids WHILE watching them at home 24/7?

I'm sure your kids would appreciate you being flexible so that they have both parents around equally, but this isn't about the kids is it? It looks like nothing but a power struggle in who has the biggest cojones and that's just pathetic for ANY parent to be that selfish and childish!!!

If you wanted exclusive rights to the kids you should have paid a spermbank. Stop kidding yourself!

 

[kimberlywrites]

I'm confused.


Obviously hubby HAS to work so much to support you being at home procreating. How exactly are you going to afford to support yourself and 3 kids WHILE watching them at home 24/7?

AHA, she probably figures she's going to get alimony and child support and the kids. Wants it all. Maybe he works alot to get away from her???
Also, she is referring to breastfeeding the baby, which means yes she had a baby even though things sucked in the marriage. Maybe it was a last ditch attempt to save things - BAD IDEA.

 

[Ljnsy]

I'm confused.


Obviously hubby HAS to work so much to support you being at home procreating. How exactly are you going to afford to support yourself and 3 kids WHILE watching them at home 24/7?

AHA, she probably figures she's going to get alimony and child support and the kids. Wants it all. Maybe he works alot to get away from her???
Also, she is referring to breastfeeding the baby, which means yes she had a baby even though things sucked in the marriage. Maybe it was a last ditch attempt to save things - BAD IDEA.

She hasn't even had the baby yet. I think in the "deleted" thread she said she was 3 months pregnant.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

She hasn't even had the baby yet. I think in the "deleted" thread she said she was 3 months pregnant.

She has another child born of a "Relationship" and the father died in 1998, status of SS survivors benefits unknown. She has a 2 yo with her husband whom she originally claimed was a wonderful father and is 3 months pregnant with another child she claims was conceived of her husband and there is no need for a DNA test, but he works continuously while she is at home (not employed).