why would they give him custody

[WyattJ]

Well I can see a problem with the changing issue but my son's dad lived at home until just a few weeks ago - his age 32. There is nothing we can do about where they live as long as there is shelter for them to have their visits.

As for the movies as with everything else if you think it will help prove it that they went to these movies.

 

[stealth2]

As I told another poster earlier today - what we think is moot. It's what the judge thinks that matters. Some things are parenting decisions - like what movies he allows her to watch. BTDT. So he lives with his mother. Big whoop. My kids shared a room with me for a good year and a half 'cause we couldn't afford to live anywhere else - that's a boy & a girl of 7 & 5. Seeing him get dressed is also a parenting choice - some people are less modest about nudity than others. NONE of this is going to fall under the guise of unfit parenting.

 

[nextwife]

Yup. Unless a child is seeing full frontal nudity of an opposite sex parent, the seeing them get dressed thing is really no biggy. And a parent naturally is in the position of seeing their younger kids undressed or helping them dress, or getting them out of the tub. A parent seeing their 6 or 7 year old dress is also not something that is a reason to keep a kid from their OP.

FYI- In Eastern Europe, when my DH was a kid, he and his widowed mom shared a Soviet apartment with 5 families. One kitchen and toilet was shared by them all, he and his mom had one room. And all the families had to use a public bathhouse, because bathing facilities in one's own place didn't exist where he was. He survived and grew up normal. Actually, better than normal, in my eyes.

 

[shuga24]

I DONT KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE BUT IN VEGAS THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE. IT IS NOT HIM SEEING HER DRESS ITS HER SEEING HIM DRESS. DOES SHE REALLY NEED TO KNOW WHAT A GROWN MANS PENIS LOOKS LIKE. DOES SHE NEED TO HEAR HIS COVERSATIONS OF THE PHONE ABOUT WHAT HE WANTS TO DO WITH A WOMAN .BE FOR REAL. YOU ARE VERY GULLABLE

 

[skyy]

You need to lay off the caps lock button. You irritate a lot of people that way.

Now, let me recap what has happened.

1. You posted a question about what a judge/court would do (a question we can't answer because we aren't the judge/court hearing your case nor do we have a crystal ball.)

- You got an answer from a lawyer who even answered your question about giving his opinion. You got on his bad side, and you haven't gotten any other lawyers to come to your aid since.

2. You asked more questions and gave some information about yourself.

- You got answers from several people who have been helping people, talking with lawyers, researching laws and even providing school resources. After the lawyers, these people (like Stealth2, MG) would be the next most helpful in assisting you in what to expect in court or what could be asked of you. Nextwife and others told you of their experiences working with learning disabled children and what you need to do to help your daughter, but you seem to dismiss everything being offered.

I am the wife of a father whose daughter is now living with us because her mother did not provide what she needed...including her education. She's 6, and was in danger of failing while she lived with her mother. So, while I skip over details of you or her, I would suggest you absorb some things being told.

- You need to be able to prove these things you accuse the father of doing. Living with his mother may not work against him. For all we know, she's sick and needs him to help her. Maybe she will provide family childcare while he works.

- You need to be able to show that staying with you will be in her best interests. You need to take it upon yourself to make sure she gets what she needs, especially with her education. If the teacher doesn't return your calls, keep calling or show up and insist on a meeting. I don't understand how you can't get answers if I can get answers from 3000 miles away for a stepchild.

- While you consider yourself generous in offering the father time but didn't ask for anything but clothes (that post I didn't understand), he may be one of those parents who believes that's not enough time to spend with his child, especially when it's on your time.

You wrote earlier that you don't mind what he can do for her, but you don't think he needs to have custody. What can he do for her? Is it possible it may benefit your daughter?

- You're coming across as wanting to call all the shots, have the father provide when necessary but allow your daughter to struggle while you hide behind her disability. While you may see what he does as taboo, the judge may see what you do as worse and even change custody.

You need to focus on what you can do to help your daughter's situation and focus less on the fact that the father petitioned for more time (which hasn't even been granted yet).

 

[FJ1200guy]

You expect me to believe the Dad is letting his daughter see him naked and letting her listen to him have phone sex? I'm getting a real good picture of the type of mom you are now... we may be gullible, but I sure ain't buying your story.

Ciao, baby.

 

[shuga24]

i want to take my case off this line what can i do no one is helpful to me.

 

[shuga24]

You expect me to believe the Dad is letting his daughter see him naked and letting her listen to him have phone sex? I'm getting a real good picture of the type of mom you are now... we may be gullible, but I sure ain't buying your story.

Ciao, baby.

my daughter has took a bath with him he told me that hisself he told her how he kisses. she knows the difference between french kiss and regular kiss. you dont know me or this man

 

[shuga24]

Yup. Unless a child is seeing full frontal nudity of an opposite sex parent, the seeing them get dressed thing is really no biggy. And a parent naturally is in the position of seeing their younger kids undressed or helping them dress, or getting them out of the tub. A parent seeing their 6 or 7 year old dress is also not something that is a reason to keep a kid from their OP.

FYI- In Eastern Europe, when my DH was a kid, he and his widowed mom shared a Soviet apartment with 5 families. One kitchen and toilet was shared by them all, he and his mom had one room. And all the families had to use a public bathhouse, because bathing facilities in one's own place didn't exist where he was. He survived and grew up normal. Actually, better than normal, in my eyes.

I don't care if he sees her naked he does have to bath her. that is not tha problem. I never kept her from him why do you people keep saying that. Even when he has never done anything for her even when he has never called for her i still let him see her.

 

[shuga24]

I didn't ask him to just buy clothes. thats all he does I let him see her when ever he wanted. These lawyers must need some advice too. His mother is a maid at the gilden nugget working full time. He never went up to her school to talk to the teachers only me. He wasn't there the day she was born or even a week after. who is the lawyer that talked to me? I have my daughter on the computer every day reading and learning her letter sounds. I been to the school everyday. they thought she was just not paying attention until i pointed her problems out to them. He wants to bring her home late at night on sundays without a bath her hair not done and then I have to keep her up late to get her ready for school the next day. I wish that he would do more. do you people know the laws of las vegas cause i dont think you realize that alot of states are different.

You need to lay off the caps lock button. You irritate a lot of people that way.

Now, let me recap what has happened.

1. You posted a question about what a judge/court would do (a question we can't answer because we aren't the judge/court hearing your case nor do we have a crystal ball.)

- You got an answer from a lawyer who even answered your question about giving his opinion. You got on his bad side, and you haven't gotten any other lawyers to come to your aid since.

2. You asked more questions and gave some information about yourself.

- You got answers from several people who have been helping people, talking with lawyers, researching laws and even providing school resources. After the lawyers, these people (like Stealth2, MG) would be the next most helpful in assisting you in what to expect in court or what could be asked of you. Nextwife and others told you of their experiences working with learning disabled children and what you need to do to help your daughter, but you seem to dismiss everything being offered.

I am the wife of a father whose daughter is now living with us because her mother did not provide what she needed...including her education. She's 6, and was in danger of failing while she lived with her mother. So, while I skip over details of you or her, I would suggest you absorb some things being told.

- You need to be able to prove these things you accuse the father of doing. Living with his mother may not work against him. For all we know, she's sick and needs him to help her. Maybe she will provide family childcare while he works.

- You need to be able to show that staying with you will be in her best interests. You need to take it upon yourself to make sure she gets what she needs, especially with her education. If the teacher doesn't return your calls, keep calling or show up and insist on a meeting. I don't understand how you can't get answers if I can get answers from 3000 miles away for a stepchild.

- While you consider yourself generous in offering the father time but didn't ask for anything but clothes (that post I didn't understand), he may be one of those parents who believes that's not enough time to spend with his child, especially when it's on your time.

You wrote earlier that you don't mind what he can do for her, but you don't think he needs to have custody. What can he do for her? Is it possible it may benefit your daughter?

- You're coming across as wanting to call all the shots, have the father provide when necessary but allow your daughter to struggle while you hide behind her disability. While you may see what he does as taboo, the judge may see what you do as worse and even change custody.

You need to focus on what you can do to help your daughter's situation and focus less on the fact that the father petitioned for more time (which hasn't even been granted yet).

 

[shuga24]

Well I can see a problem with the changing issue but my son's dad lived at home until just a few weeks ago - his age 32. There is nothing we can do about where they live as long as there is shelter for them to have their visits.

As for the movies as with everything else if you think it will help prove it that they went to these movies.

if a person always stays with thier mother how do they now about responsibility. Paying thier own rent. Keeping food. How do they now what to do when things get ruff. or if they get behind. His mother cooks for him cleans for him and when she is not thier he eats out. doesn't my overweight daughter need home cooked nutritionnal meals. He lets her eat anything and when she comes home she expect me to do the same

 

[skyy]

1. Homeguru (lawyer) is the first person who responded to you.
2. Yes, we realize the laws vary from state-to-state which is why you were asked for your state and/or the state for the case. While some things are different for each state, some things are constant like the best interests of the child.

You seem to be trying to handle too much at once which doesn't allow you to handle anything at all. Although it's necessary to give specifics to help answer your questions, it's not necessary to give out personal or identifiable information (and really not safe).

It's a good idea to re-read the responses you've gotten and each one that's written before you respond. If you're concerned for your daughter's safety, then you need to take measures to handle that. No, we don't know the father nor you, but we're going on pieces of a puzzle that you present and our combined experiences dealing with custody disputes to answer you.

I strongly urge you to look into any resources available to you to discover the root of your daughter's problems. There has to be another reason for all of her difficulties. I'm going through something similar to make sure my stepdaughter is grade-level, but it's not legal information. One of the best things you can do is go over basic things with her yourself while doing everyday things such as driving to or from school.

Right now, you need to be focused on your daughter and the problems hindering her from learning/understanding in school or that may be used as a reason to change custody if the father claims she'll do better in his care. First thing in the morning, call the number listed previously to ask about testing. If they're closed, read what you can from the link given.

Your primary objective should be how to make things better for your daughter, not how to make sure the father doesn't get custody. Most of us have issues with the other parent and things we wish our children had never seen/learned while in the other's care, but we can't undo it. We do what we can for our children while we have them and pray for the best.

 

[shuga24]

Homeguru was very rude and i put him on my ignore list. if he is a lawyer i would never use him. this is for advice and he says how the hwck should we know. a very bad lawyer

 

[cookie57]

Was your daughter diagnosed with Dyslexia?

I am dyslexic. I still have problems with letters and numbers. I maintained a 3.7 gpa all during school without any additional help.
My daughter was 5 when she started writing her name backwards. For example say her name was maryanne....she would right it ennayram. She would confuse her d's and b's. I brought it to her kindergarten teacher's attention. The speech teacher evaluated her the same day. My daughter was young and just learning. There was nothing wrong with her, but they encouraged me to have her pediatrican look her over. Her hearing was checked, her vision was checked. She's fine. Of course I was concerned and thought she was dyslexic. But after learning that most children at this age do this, and after I had her go through some tests, I know now she is fine. She is now 6. She still confuses her d's and b's and still writes things backwards now and again. But she is fine, she is a kid.

 

[djohnson]

What is he accusing you of in order to try and get a custody change at this point? I think there is obviously parts missing from your story and he has reason to believe that you are unfit. By your own version of events I can see that he may have a case. My 9 year old is dyslexic and dythymic but it does not cause me to quit my job or to baby her daily by going to class with her because she cries. She needs to learn how to adapt and handle problems on her own. An IEP should be in place if she is actually diagnosed with this from a Dr and not just you. If she has other problems they need to be dealt with now, not later. If you aren't taking care of those things then he has reasons for wanting a custody change.

You seem to think living with his mom is an issue because he won't learn to deal with 'the real world' and how things are, yet you are doing the same thing. When you quit your job who is supporting you? Did you not check out the areas before you moved in for the safety of your child? A place doesn't go down hill in a month. Please take the advice of much older and much wiser parents. You are are not handling this well at all.