boyfriend's ex saying I cannot go to pick up child for visitation

[dannic9647]

No jealousy at all... in fact she can have him.. I will laugh last...
But it is kind of sad that she has to repeatedly tell me that she is going to take my kids away and I will never see them again.. and she is going to destroy my career and all this other **** and I am supposed to welcome her with open arms?? HELL NO....

 

[CMSC]

hey, dannic, have you gone to court yet? Is the judge going to recuse themselves?

 

[dannic9647]

no court yet for us...
And it has been assigned to a magistrate first.. that judge has no idea that I am going to be in his court room. I asked him simply for a lawyer referral....

 

[nailtech]

I said Ex because in my mind he is an ex.. HOWEVER legally we are still married...

That's YOUR mistake....

 

[dannic9647]

What is my mistake???
That I was being nice and letting him see the kids when he wanted?? That I was trying to do this the easy way??

 

[nailtech]

I said Ex because in my mind he is an ex.. HOWEVER legally we are still married...

That's YOUR mistake....

self explanatory...

 

[dannic9647]

You can view it as what you want.. I see it as doing what was best at the time...
When someone writes the book on being perfect and making the right choces all the time. let me know.
My HUSBAND (Is that better) and I do what is best not only for the kids, but for each other.. If there is not stress or aggravation on either side it makes the transition easier for everyone...
What I was saying is.. why make an already difficult and emotional thing harder.. If she doesnt want the GF around, then stay away for a few minutes.. damn.. no one will stop breathing over it...Or are the claws that deep already?? Why is it that when a GF/BF comes along they have to be there ALL the time??
Give the parent some room to be with their kids alone..
DID anyone ever ask the kids what they wanted?? Well we did one day and shockingly enough my son said he wanted that time with his father ALONE>....

 

[Grace_Adler]

You know, this isn't "your" situation and apparantly have no idea what it's like to deal with a pbfh..unless you are one. Your story and this one are totally different.

The poster was ASKED to come along because he will need a witness if she gets violent. It happens all the time. I've lived it. Just because he doesn't go by himself doesn't mean he's not a man. He's a man for not slapping the sh*t out of her if she's violent towards him. Maybe that's the problem. Did you ever think about that? He doesn't want to get iinto a physical altercation with his ex and needs a witness. Damn don't you freakin' get it???

Police don't like to get involved in escorting people to pick up their kids and like..I think it was haiku who said it... that's real healthy for the kids.

You can't record in all states. Besides, how the hell is he supposed to get the kids in and out of the car holding a camcorder?

Damn, wtf? I wasn't gonna post but I couldn't stand it anymore. I know I'm wasting my breath once more but I just can't help myself.

LMSP may I have a glass?

 

[Grace_Adler]

Ok, sorry, I am really sick and forgot what I read and got part of the story wrong. I went back and read the first page. I thought there was abuse on the ex's part. Turns out SHE HAS FILED FALSE ABUSE CHARGES. Been there and done that too. HE STILL NEEDS A WITNESS.

 

[nailtech]

DID anyone ever ask the kids what they wanted?? Well we did one day and shockingly enough my son said he wanted that time with his father ALONE>....

Ok one more time here,.... if you were to ask your kids permission each and every time you made a move, where would you be?..... you stated you are divorcing your husband..
did you ask your childrens permission first???
I bet not...
************************************************
quote: by dannic
DID anyone ever ask the kids what they wanted?? Well we did one day and shockingly enough my son said he wanted that time with his father ALONE..... unquote...

you asked your children who they wanted to spend time with a parent or soon to be step, and they said their father alone........ and that "SHOCKS" you???......

DAH...
***************************************************
to the orginal poster if you feel you need to go along to keep his hinney out of hot water then go, if she does not want you on "Her" property then have him drop you off at the public street in front of her house, but before he enters the private drive and pick up the children and then you,......... and then so be it, your along for the drive and his safety....JMO...

 

[haiku]

No jealousy at all... in fact she can have him.. I will laugh last...
But it is kind of sad that she has to repeatedly tell me that she is going to take my kids away and I will never see them again.. and she is going to destroy my career and all this other **** and I am supposed to welcome her with open arms?? HELL NO....Why is it that when a GF/BF comes along they have to be there ALL the time??

Well no....you don't have to welcome anyone with open arms...all you have to do is ignore it, and hand over your child, so she is rude, ignore it! she has no power in YOUR divorce, be the bigger person and you give the lesser person no ammo.....my husbands EX is NOT allowed on OUR property because SHE made things so difficult for him, dating from before WE married.

You say the girlfriend has to come along? Hello? these people are in a relationship, you pretty much went every where with your 'husband" when you were together right?

Poster in question NEEDS a witness until this can go public.

As far as your child goes, his relationship with his dad is now in his dads hands whether you like it or not.

good luck to you.....

 

[KCMR]

You are absolutely Correct SOME PEOPLE DO NEED TO GROW UP. Begin by looking in the mirror.

Sorry I did not read the entire thread because disgust came over me.

If the ex wants to come to the house with his girlfriend then SO WHAT???? My ex shows up every week with his girlfriend. Does he not have the right to date someone else? She happens to be a very sweet girl and if you took a moment in time to get over what ever issues you have with her being there...you and your children may just be better off.

Make it easier on the child, for god sake's and don't worry about it. Do you think these children deserve this extra stress in their already complicated lives?

"I don't want that girl on my property..."how immature is THAT?!@?!

 

[tammy8]

Gettin way off the orginal poster's ? and maybe I did read it on one of the posts but to dannic, you say that your Husband doesn't bring anyone (aka his girlfriend) to pick up his kids. Then you said it was because he knew there would be a fight. Do this mean YOU aren't the bigger person and moving on? Are you the one who goes off the deep end because your husband has moved on? Just curious WHO would cause the problems if your husband brought someone with me to pick up HIS children?


Oh and BTW child support and custody or visitation are 2 separate issues, but of course I am sure you are aware of that.

 

[stealth2]

I am not being vengeful... I am not being a bitch..
It is RESPECT for the other person.... I know that after all of our years together. there are still feelings on all sides... and I would never ever dis repsect him that way as he realizes now that he shouldnt either..
And why do you have to have a GF or BF with you to be a parent??

Tell him to start acting like a parent and get the kids on his own... What is he teaching his children?? That someone needs to hand hold all the time?? That you cant stand up on your own??

So Dad can't even bring the g/f with him if they're getting the kids and going to a movie? Or out to dinner? Or because he friggin wants some company on the drive there? Your ex doesn't bring his g/f because he knows *you* will start a fight. And you're telling people to grow up? Puhleaze. My ex has brought a g/f with him on severral occasions - as well as now his wife. We all behave like adults and are POLITE to each other. If you expect to be treated with respect - you need to show it to others.

 

[KCMR]

So Dad can't even bring the g/f with him if they're getting the kids and going to a movie? Or out to dinner? Or because he friggin wants some company on the drive there? Your ex doesn't bring his g/f because he knows *you* will start a fight. And you're telling people to grow up? Puhleaze. My ex has brought a g/f with him on severral occasions - as well as now his wife. We all behave like adults and are POLITE to each other. If you expect to be treated with respect - you need to show it to others.

Is this ridiculous or what?!!?