can i get it lowered

[Smarty Panties]

NEEDS

Single person has to live in a house or apartment
750 a month for a one bedroom
875 for a two bedroom
125 for the child

Food for a single person
200 a month with leftovers.. lol
300 a month with a child
100 a month for the child’s food

Wow. Where do you live and what have you been eating? LOL

But seriously, I spend about $200 a month on groceries for a family a 3 + a dog and that includes eating out. My rent for a 2 bedroom is cheaper too and I live in a major university town. Of course it's smaller than I'd like but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

 

[tigger2two]

Wow. Where do you live and what have you been eating? LOL

But seriously, I spend about $200 a month on groceries for a family a 3 + a dog and that includes eating out. My rent for a 2 bedroom is cheaper too and I live in a major university town. Of course it's smaller than I'd like but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

I would like to know where you shop for food???? I spend over 600 a month for a family of 4. Thats only one more than you have. And that isn't counting eating out. But my mortgage for a 4 bedroom is only a few hundred more than he quoted for a 2 brm LOL

 

[stealth2]

I have to admit that the $200 a month for groceries seems really low. I spend well more than that even if I take out the dogs, cats, etc. Not including eating out or extravagent food. Panties - where do you go out to eat? Lunch for 1 at somewhere like Applebees runs around $12 (tip included).

Housing? Depends a hell of a lot where you live. Where I am, a studio would start around 1k. A 2BR? Closer to 1500.

 

[TNBSMommy]

oh and you say shes your kid just pay your childsupport, well that is exactly what i want to do, i get called a bad father bc i ask if i can get it lowered bc i have a vehicle, just because i have a CHILD to this woman doesnt mean i have to make sure her MOTHER has a roof over her head, that is HER responsibilty, her and her husband need to provide for thereselves WHICH THERE NOT DOING.

I want to live where ever your ex lives that I can have a roof over my head, and my childrens', a vehicle, a cell phone, food, clothing, electricity, etc. for $500 a month. Obviously I live in the wrong state!!! B/c I pay 800 a month for my house payment ALONE! That isn't even including all my other basic necessity bills. Should your ex just rent your daughter a house and let her live there alone and pay the payments? B/c that is how this statement comes off to me. And before you jump my a s s, I work full time, along with my husband to support my children, and keep all the above named bills paid, and very RARELY get ANY CS from the kids dad. And that includes also, school supplies, clothing, toys, any outings, any trips we take, extra curicular activities, any child care costs, medical bills. 100% done by myself and my husband. Let me tell you, our bills are about 2000-2500 a month. Your measly 500 wouldn't cover but a quarter of them. A person, ESPECIALLY with a child or children, canNOT live on $500 a month.
And how do you know she spent YOUR money on her outfit? Did the child see her take the money out of the card at the cashregister and then tell her she can't have anything b/c mommy needed an outfit?? And let me tell you something else, when I occasionally get a CS payment from my ex, after paying for EVERYTHING 100% if I want to spend some of it on me you can bet your sweet a s s I will. All this arguing over what cs is for is ridiculous.
As for the person who says
"Quote:
Child support is not the child's money. It is the mother's money to use as she sees fit to help provide for said child. .


THIS IS HORSE SH*T.. This is not spousal support or alimony IT IS FOR THE CHILD"
~The court will assist a spouse who has primary physical custody or possession of the child or children through the payment of child support.~- Now this was taken from TN's CS guidelines, I realize different states have different laws, however, I believe they are pretty similar in that CS is SUPPORT of a child, not directly for the child. Support includes, a roof over their heads, food on their table, electricity, etc.

As far as your visitation issues, do you have a lawyer? If not, you need one, if so, you need a better one. All this stuff you say she pulled is bull, and you, nor your daughter should have to go through that. All of that should not be overlooked.

 

[snodderly]

you dont know what goes on, u dont see her flashing around in a brand new car and cell phone with NO JOB none, she has no money at all ok none! the only money she receives is my child support

You are out of touch with reality sydney!! You really think your $500 a month has that much power? Either she is a financial genus and can really stretch a dollar or you are insane and letting anger at the fact that you have to pay her anything at all color your judgment. Like I've already said....GROW UP LITTLE BOY!!
snodderly

 

[LdiJ]

you dont know what goes on, u dont see her flashing around in a brand new car and cell phone with NO JOB none, she has no money at all ok none! the only money she receives is my child support

You are out of touch with reality sydney!! You really think your $500 a month has that much power? Either she is a financial genus and can really stretch a dollar or you are insane and letting anger at the fact that you have to pay her anything at all color your judgment. Like I've already said....GROW UP LITTLE BOY!!
snodderly

It would be almost possible for somebody to make the payments on a new car, PLUS a cell phone, with 500.00....let alone live as well. I agree...Syd is out of touch with reality here.

 

[sydney1205]

well, she lives with her parents, so there for she dont have any HOUSE BILLS she has to pay, as far as groceries, well she lives in a house with her parents who i assume buy the food, they get to live for free, why not eat. i dont know where your from, but houses and apartments around where im from are not even close to being that expensive, but then again she dont have her own home so, i also had her under my med insurance until she decided to get her own...WELFARE...so she dont have to pay nothing. see i understand you may all have a lot of bills, you have your own home, and all these meds and stuff, but she doesnt, that is what you dont understand. she had to go get on welfare, just for meds, so she didnt have to pay one penny, i understand you people have bills and stuff but this lady is living for free, your acting like im pissed bc i wanted her back or something, and its not like that at all...oh and for the comment about not talking about her mom, no i would never stoop that low, i would never talk bad about her mother in front of her, and i hope she does the same for me.

 

[sydney1205]

and by the way SNODDERLY, ya 500 does go far for her, she HAS NO INCOME, she has NO BILLS, seeing her car,i imagine her car payments are about 250...a month, and cell phone could easily be low or high...im sorry, maybe you people just have a lot more money and expect more...ur saying how 500 dont go far, well when you have no hosue payments or med payments, yeah snodderly, it does go far.

 

[LdiJ]

and by the way SNODDERLY, ya 500 does go far for her, she HAS NO INCOME, she has NO BILLS, seeing her car,i imagine her car payments are about 250...a month, and cell phone could easily be low or high...im sorry, maybe you people just have a lot more money and expect more...ur saying how 500 dont go far, well when you have no hosue payments or med payments, yeah snodderly, it does go far.

SOMEONE is providing a roof over their heads, utilities, food on the table, necessities etc. Its human to be jealous that mom has someone who is willing to do that for her..however that doesn't change the fact that you have to contribute your fair share...according to your state guidelines.
Resenting the fact that mom has someone who is willing to provide for her and the child gets you no where, changes nothing, and NEVER will change anything. Would you feel better if mom turned your 500.00 over to the people who are providing for them, and then those people in turn gave mom a 500.00 allowance? No, you wouldn't. You would still resent the fact that mom has it easier than you do.

Give it up! Nothing is going to change. Fight for your visitation rights and stop making yourself miserable because you are jealous that mom has it easier than you right now.

 

[cananyonehelp]

I spend about $200 a month on groceries for a family a 3 + a dog and that includes eating out

.

I spend 200 to 250 on our grocery bill and it’s me, my wife, and a 6yr old. I knew that tigger would spend more than that so I said 300. The point is we are talking about ONE child costing 500.00 a month… Keep in mind that is only half because the CP parent has a responsibility to support the child also!!!! So know you are telling me that a child cost 1000.00 a month. I don’t think so

I would like to know where you shop for food???? I spend over 600 a month for a family of 4

How much of that is eating out? You need to start using coupons they’re just as good as money. A CP can’t blame the NCP for not knowing how to manager his or her money.

I have to admit that the $200 a month for groceries seems really low. I spend well more than that even if I take out the dogs, cats, etc

I was trying to make a point! That point was if his x-wife were to be on her own no child and live on her own. She would pay about 200 on food for herself and with a child you would add another 100. So the child cost are not 300 for food they are a 100.

If rent for a single person is 700 for on one bedroom and 850 for a 2 bedroom(keep in mind were talking about one kid) the difference is 150 child cost

If electric bill is 200 dollar a month and with a child it goes to 275 from all the door opening…lol the cost of the child is 75.00

A car to get around NO cost a single person needs a car to get a job, go places, ect

So let say this list reach a 1000, which it would not if you look at the reality of what the child costs. Not what a person without a child would pay to live!!!! So if we reach 1000
Then the NCP would be doing there share paying 500 because the CP is still responsible to pay 50% of the cost of the child 500 a month=1000 a month for a child to live…. nope

100% done by myself and my husband. Let me tell you, our bills are about 2000-2500 a month. Your measly 500 wouldn't cover but a quarter of them

This is the point I'm trying to make. Your bills are about 2500 dollar a month, right?
1/3 is 850 dollars(assuming you only have one child)… so your child cost are 850 now your half of that is your responsibility so now we are down to 425 (I know your x husband does not pay I’m just making a point) I don’t understand how people seem to put all their needs into child support!!!! The reality is, the CP is responsible for 50% too. So if the courts set a amount of 500 dollars a month then you mean to tell me that child cost 1000 a month and 12000 a year.

You are out of touch with reality sydney!! You really think your $500 a month has that much power?

You need to look at the big picture and get a grip on reality.

 

[snodderly]

people just have a lot more money and expect more

You are right sydney, I do have certain expectations. I expect for my children to be able to maintain the lifestyle they had before their father decided he no longer wanted the responsibility. Thank God I was divorced in a state that understands my expectations.

My ex husband is one person living on nearly 4 times the income my children and I live on. I am the one who has enabled them to be able to live as they did before he left. It was his choice that we have that lifestyle, it was his choice that they have a decent home in a decent neighborhood and a decent school district.

After he decided those things were no longer important to him it was my obligation to make sure my children had the kind of life they were used to. That is my choice and a choice I have a right to make.

It pisses the hell out of my ex that we have a house in middle class neighborhood and a decent car to drive. He didn't want me anymore, he didn't want his children anymore and when he left he stopped caring what they had or where they lived. Now it just angers the hell out of him that I didn't let his leaving destroy us. He, on the other hand drives his big new Dodge truck, has his $300,000 house with his new girlfriend and spends his time vacationing in some pretty exciting places. To hell with him and to hell with you and men like you who resent helping to provide for their children.

When both my boys are of age my ex husband will have contributed 1/3 of what a father in an intact family contributes in that 18 year life span. If you ask me, you guys got it made in the shade.

Why don't you do the child a favor and sign over those parental rights to a man who is willing to support her without resentment? Her lifestyle is none of your business and until you have lived in that home with her and know exactly what her expenses are you are just spewing venom, for the sake of it.

Another thing, if she has a brand new car and the car payments are $250 a month, it can't be all that damned flashy.
snodderly

 

[snodderly]

You need to look at the big picture and get a grip on reality.

The big picture has been looked at!! The bottom line is this...it wouldn't matter if his wife was living in a huge house, driving an expensive car and buying a new outfit every day. This man would still be responsible for paying his state mandated child support.

He doesn't seem to get that. He thinks that just because her and her husband live at home with her parents that they have no bills and that should make a difference in what he pays. It doesn't!!

I could sit and whine over my ex and his lifestyle all day. It isn't going to hurt anyone but my children and myself. We all have choices in life. His ex made her choices and now he is pissed because her life seems to be a little easier than his. Tough!!

That $500 a month has you strapped get yourself a second job. If your present wife isn't working tell her to get a job. It's just that easy.

I'm going to take what the courts awarded me....a drop in the bucket as far as I'm concerned and then I'm going to work my ass off to ad to it to maintain the lifestyle I want my children to have.

That is the big picture and he is the one who desn't get it.
snodderly

 

[sydney1205]

ya know what ...exactly...and how the hell is anyone to say to "get rid of my car" i dont think so, i need a car and even if i "didnt" too bad, im allowed to have Some things i want, and which ever one of you keep saying "its the paper work" just pay it! i ****ing told you they used a LES from when i was deployed in iraq.so dont tell me to get rid of my car if i cant afford it,im in the middle of having that settled and the reason for me putting this thread up to BEGIN with was to see if maybe i could get it a little lowered, does that make me a bad father? I SURE IN THE HELL DONT THINK SO. i pay my support and i always have without a problem, i love my daughter.as far as me being jealous bc thye have other people for providing them, no i think there bums for it, hello, you have a kid, your married, its time to grow up and stop living with mommy and daddy. One of you say, well maybe she isnt capable of living on ehr own yet, THEN SHE DONT NEED TO BE RAISING MY DAUGHTER IF SHE CaNT AFFORD IT! and as far as me getting my visitation, i try so damn hard and it just doesnt work that way.

 

[snodderly]

and as far as me getting my visitation, i try so damn hard and it just doesnt work that way.

Have you got court ordered visitation? If so then take the police with you next time you try and visit. She will not be able to deny you visitation if you have written court orders and a police escort. Instead of passively whining about the problem take a proactive stance. It's just that simple.

I don't believe that you have been to court with an LES that proves your income is lower and have been denied the right to lower your child support. I don't believe that you have been to court 13 times on support and visitation issues and that things have gone her way every time.

If what you have posted here is true....blocked visitation and decrease in income no judge could lawfully go against you. I don't believe we are getting the entire story from you sydney.
snodderly

 

[sydney1205]

snodderly, im sorry to hear that thats what you had to put up with, i really am, but how can you say her lifestyle is none of my buisness when i contribute to it? honestly. it is my right to know what my money is going to, im not bityching about supporting my daughter, it would just be nice to know that she is contributing the same, and i know she isnt. believe me i would love to have custody of her and care for her everyday, but i would never rip her from her mother bc as much as i hate my x, i know she is good with my daughter. but this whole big thing turned into a mess all bc i asked if i could ahve it lowered, i dont think that makes me a bad dad...do you?