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sydney1205
Guest
ok snodderly hold on, if you dont mind i would like to give you the whole story..
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sydney1205
Guest
ok, my girlfriend and i were togetehr for 4 years, samantha, im going to use names to make it easier, we were not married and had a baby, well by the time the baby came samantha and i werent really togetehr anymore, it was a type of thing where she would come to my house and visit and i would go to hers bc she was carrying my baby, we still slept together, but werent really together, but she still got very mad when i would date another girl, well hannah my daughter came and we tryed to work things out one last time for our daughter but it just wasnt there. her being very angry we werent together, she would try and ruin every relationship i had. well in order to see my daughter, i would ahve to soe nd the day with samantha too, i was young and stupid and didnt want to go threw the court and everything. well then i met my wife, and samantha didnt liek that bc i cut all ties with her, soo she denied me any right to see my daughter inless i spent the day with her too, well after a while my wife she was my gf at the time, said look get visitation or get out, and she was right, i had a right to see my child without having to spend time with samantha. so i went to get visitation, samantha had it to where i could only have my daughter ina public place or at my mothers, she didnt want my wife around her.well i took what i could at the time, a few months later i took her back to get it modified, this time she was allowed at my wifes, but i could only get her once a month a for a few hours, so i went back like 6 months later and she upped it to every other weekend for 6 hours a day, then i went back just 3 mon ths ago since i live out of state now iw ant her in my home, so i tryed for the whole weekend a month and then over the summer her at my home for a few week " denied" im not alot leaving state with her...i have no criminal backround i do pay my support and its just not going anywhere, im not even allowed to get ehr over night, and i dont understand why, im married, stable and have my own home, it just upsets me
Smarty Panties
Member
tigger2two said:
I usually shop at Kroger on double coupon day LOL and I only go once a month because I hate grocery shopping. On rare occasions I'll go to Aldi's but that's only if I get a flyer in the mail advertising something worth going there for. I normally don't like Aldi groceries. I also buy a 55# bag of dog food and that lasts 2 months normally. Eating out is usually at Golden Coral maybe once a month and sporatically Hardee's, Wendy's, Arby's, delivered Pizza Hut...I may have quoted a little low. It's probably more like $250-$275 if I include eating out more than once a month and buying little things here and there as needed but no more than that.
Yeah Stealth I'm sure it does depend on where you live as to what rent is. NJ & NY would have a higher cost of living than Bloomington IN. No way I could handle living there cause I hate parting with money & I'm cheap. Unless of course Donald Trump was my sugar daddy.
Dude I know what you're saying. You're saying that a single person would still have their monthly bills and would have to support themselves if they didn't have a kid. I wasn't trying to argue that point cause I have always agreed with it. I was just going off topic a bit because the figures struck me funny.
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sydney1205
Guest
no i didnt, and yes i know that was stupid, the first couple times i didnt, but the last time i just did, but it was in the counsel room, not in front of the judge, so i had to put in to have it in front of the judge, which is scheduled for september 28th, but do you honeslty think ill have a good chance of getting my daughter once a month for one weekend over night, then in the summer for a few weeks,at my own home? i know once a month isnt much but with me living out of state and being in the military, i cant just leave when i want.
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sydney1205
Guest
yes i know i had alot of growing up to do,a nd i can honeslty say my wife MADE it happen,LOL, but i really am trying my best now...
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cananyonehelp
Guest
QUOTE]After he decided those things were no longer important to him it was my obligation to make sure my children had the kind of life they were used to. .[/QUOTE]
Life they are use to!!! When I was a child we moved to texas from NY and we live in a UPS truck that my dad converted for 6 months. You know I would not change my life for nothing. Do I want a provide better for my child yes and she had a lot more material things then I did, but my dad and mom did to they provided all the love I could ever want or need. I know poor and you don’t sound poor!!! A three hundred thousand dollar house is not what a child needs LOVE is what they need!!! A kid knows on thing love and attention, they don’t know the value of a dollar.
Look at the anger because you don’t have these things anymore!!! You are jealous. My X wife’s mom is married to a very wealth man and spoils the hell out of my little girl. This does her no good when she comes home and says “I know my grandma loves me because she buy me what I want”. I see why money is so important to you, you are probably so angry at your x you hold his kids over his head. I really hope not, but if you do you are only hurting your children. Wooo is ME!!! Your more concerned for the life style YOU lost.
To hell with men or woman who use a child as a pawn to hurt the other parent!!!!
This is the most STUPID thing I have ever heard and for a mom to say it makes me sick!!!I heard it from my x and she knew I would NEVER do it. She did it to piss me off and with you making that comment I’m sure you told your x that. Lose your anger and think of the well being of your child.
THE MAN DOESN’T HAVE A JOB OR A PLACE OF HIS OWN TO LIVE!!!!
I’m sure he would make a great dad living at home with his wife’s mom and dad. Your mouth is a lose cannon and you need to learn to control it.
Life they are use to!!! When I was a child we moved to texas from NY and we live in a UPS truck that my dad converted for 6 months. You know I would not change my life for nothing. Do I want a provide better for my child yes and she had a lot more material things then I did, but my dad and mom did to they provided all the love I could ever want or need. I know poor and you don’t sound poor!!! A three hundred thousand dollar house is not what a child needs LOVE is what they need!!! A kid knows on thing love and attention, they don’t know the value of a dollar.
Look at the anger because you don’t have these things anymore!!! You are jealous. My X wife’s mom is married to a very wealth man and spoils the hell out of my little girl. This does her no good when she comes home and says “I know my grandma loves me because she buy me what I want”. I see why money is so important to you, you are probably so angry at your x you hold his kids over his head. I really hope not, but if you do you are only hurting your children. Wooo is ME!!! Your more concerned for the life style YOU lost.
To hell with men or woman who use a child as a pawn to hurt the other parent!!!!
This is the most STUPID thing I have ever heard and for a mom to say it makes me sick!!!I heard it from my x and she knew I would NEVER do it. She did it to piss me off and with you making that comment I’m sure you told your x that. Lose your anger and think of the well being of your child.
THE MAN DOESN’T HAVE A JOB OR A PLACE OF HIS OWN TO LIVE!!!!
I’m sure he would make a great dad living at home with his wife’s mom and dad. Your mouth is a lose cannon and you need to learn to control it.
which is scheduled for september 28th, but do you honeslty think ill have a good chance of getting my daughter once a month for one weekend over night, then in the summer for a few weeks,at my own home?
Sydney, have you attempted visitation. Although you are less than happy with what you have been given have you made an honest attempt to follow the visitation? Have you document each and every time she has interfered with visitation? Do you communicate with your daughter on a regular basis? Do you keep a log of all phone calls, all cards and gifts you have sent her?
Do you have proof of a stable income and living environment? You are in the military, is this child a dependent of yours? Is she in the DEERS Program and covered by your military benefits? Do you have documented proof of your attempts to father this child and visible proof of the stability you have to offer her during visitation?
If you have these things then I see no reason why any judge would deny you, what is rightfully yours....normal, liberal visitation with your child.
How deeply have you studied your state laws regarding visitation?
snodderly
Sydney, have you attempted visitation. Although you are less than happy with what you have been given have you made an honest attempt to follow the visitation? Have you document each and every time she has interfered with visitation? Do you communicate with your daughter on a regular basis? Do you keep a log of all phone calls, all cards and gifts you have sent her?
Do you have proof of a stable income and living environment? You are in the military, is this child a dependent of yours? Is she in the DEERS Program and covered by your military benefits? Do you have documented proof of your attempts to father this child and visible proof of the stability you have to offer her during visitation?
If you have these things then I see no reason why any judge would deny you, what is rightfully yours....normal, liberal visitation with your child.
How deeply have you studied your state laws regarding visitation?
snodderly
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cananyonehelp
Guest
LOL could see that, it wasnt aimed at you
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sydney1205
Guest
yes the visitation i was awarded, i followed, they were the only times i could see her, yes i call her everyday, im so afraid from me living out of state, i dont want her to stop loving me or not care about seeing me. i get so mad becasue i dont get to see ehr as much as i would like, and whe i mentioned the signing over rights, i thought it would be better for my daughter to have a stabble father, becasue her mother sure wont let me see her as much as a daughter needs her father, but i swear to you that the whole signing over my rights had nothing to do with the child support.then samantha will give me thw whole story every time i call " well joe ( her husband) is here for hannah your not, and it just started to make me feel like a bad dad and my daughter wont nothing to do with me. but you know what i have to work, im proud to serve my country ( even tho the year at war in iraq was horrible) so i have to work to support her, im just so tired of samantha treating me like a dead beat dad for living out of state, even tho when im down visiting she wont even give me an extra 20 mins to spend with my daughter...
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cananyonehelp
Guest
Nope I have a six year old, who can eat more than me and we don't eat out but 2 to 3 times in a month.
When I was a child we moved to texas from NY and we live in a UPS truck that my dad converted for 6 months. You know I would not change my life for nothing.
You competely missed the entire content of my post. As I have already said, life is about choices. If that is what you parents chose, fine, I have no problem with that. It's not what I choose for my children though. That doesn't make me more or less able to love my children and teach them proper values than parents who chose to live in a converted UPS truck. My children are probably growing up the same values you did, only difference is they have a roof over their heads and not a UPS truck. Circumstance does not determine character....those are taught traits.
Look at the anger because you don’t have these things anymore!!! You are jealous.
Jealous of what? It doesn't matter what my ex husband surrounds himself with, he will never have what I have. My ex and I were divorced for 3 years before he met this girlfriend. I'm certainly not jealous of her cause she has something I no longer want. I'm not jealous of him and his money cause when push comes to shove money means nothing. The only thing that means anything to me is my children's trust, respect and love. I earn that daily by being here and providing for their needs. I have nothing to be jealous of.
“I know my grandma loves me because she buy me what I want”. I see why money is so important to you, you are probably so angry at your x you hold his kids over his head. I really hope not, but if you do you are only hurting your children. Wooo is ME!!! Your more concerned for the life style YOU lost.
Where, exactly in my post did you read that my children get everything they want. They get everything they need based on a lifestyle that I want to provide for them....big difference. Both my children know the difference between a need and a desire and they know that desires are not always met....needs are, desires aren't. Money does not equate love. Being a parent who shows them they are worth the effort to provide for their needs teaches them about responsibility and love. That is the kind of parent I am.
As for as holding them over his head. LOL!! He hasn't communicated or seen either one of them in 18 months. My youngest wrote him an email asking him why he had stopped calling and coming to see him. He told his father that it hurt his feelings. The jerk wrote the kind back and told him that his feelings were not his responsibility and that if his feelings hurt then he would just have to change his feelings. No one holds this man's kids over his head. He dropped his kids from his life voluntarily and he had two kids begging to be a part of that life. My children's therapists have faxed him letters asking him to become involved in their therapy and he doesn't respond. I have written him emails begging him to call them or plan a weekend with them and he doesn't respond.
Am I angry at him. YES!! Not over what he has though. I'm angry that he has turned his back on two of the finest children a man could ever wish to have in his life. If he calleld me today and ask me to bring those children to him I would do it in a heart beat. Not because I care about him but because I know it is what my children would need.
To hell with men or woman who use a child as a pawn to hurt the other parent!!!!
Exactly, I fully agree. I recently had a stroke. Unable to work my income has been down. For the first time since our divorce I wrote him an email and asked him to help with school supplies and school clothes. I told him why I need the help and told him the child would really appreciate a gift certificate from a clothing store if he could do that. NOTHING!!
My ex husband is the one who uses his children as a pawn, not the other way around. He got tired of marriage, didn't get to walk off after 17 years without paying and now all he cares about is his anger at me. His children will do without before he will do anything that he thinks I might benefit from in some way.
By the way, I refused alimoney. Surprise you? I turned down alimoney cause if some man no longer wants me I don't want a damned thing he has for myself. Child support is a different story though and I gladly take every penny the state requires him to pay.
Lose your anger and think of the well being of your child.
My anger at my ex husband is righteous!! I feel certain that is someone caused your child the pain my ex husband has caused my you would fully understand my anger. As far as what he makes and what he has...who cares. If that were my concern I could go out tomorrow and find a man to support my butt and give me better than my ex will ever have. That isn't what it's about. It's about responsibility, reliability, integrity, morality and character.
Your mouth is a lose cannon and you need to learn to control it.
Your the one with the problems....re: mouth. You spouted off at me about issues you were not knowledgable about. I suggest next time you do some background research before you rip someone apart.
snodderly
You competely missed the entire content of my post. As I have already said, life is about choices. If that is what you parents chose, fine, I have no problem with that. It's not what I choose for my children though. That doesn't make me more or less able to love my children and teach them proper values than parents who chose to live in a converted UPS truck. My children are probably growing up the same values you did, only difference is they have a roof over their heads and not a UPS truck. Circumstance does not determine character....those are taught traits.
Look at the anger because you don’t have these things anymore!!! You are jealous.
Jealous of what? It doesn't matter what my ex husband surrounds himself with, he will never have what I have. My ex and I were divorced for 3 years before he met this girlfriend. I'm certainly not jealous of her cause she has something I no longer want. I'm not jealous of him and his money cause when push comes to shove money means nothing. The only thing that means anything to me is my children's trust, respect and love. I earn that daily by being here and providing for their needs. I have nothing to be jealous of.
“I know my grandma loves me because she buy me what I want”. I see why money is so important to you, you are probably so angry at your x you hold his kids over his head. I really hope not, but if you do you are only hurting your children. Wooo is ME!!! Your more concerned for the life style YOU lost.
Where, exactly in my post did you read that my children get everything they want. They get everything they need based on a lifestyle that I want to provide for them....big difference. Both my children know the difference between a need and a desire and they know that desires are not always met....needs are, desires aren't. Money does not equate love. Being a parent who shows them they are worth the effort to provide for their needs teaches them about responsibility and love. That is the kind of parent I am.
As for as holding them over his head. LOL!! He hasn't communicated or seen either one of them in 18 months. My youngest wrote him an email asking him why he had stopped calling and coming to see him. He told his father that it hurt his feelings. The jerk wrote the kind back and told him that his feelings were not his responsibility and that if his feelings hurt then he would just have to change his feelings. No one holds this man's kids over his head. He dropped his kids from his life voluntarily and he had two kids begging to be a part of that life. My children's therapists have faxed him letters asking him to become involved in their therapy and he doesn't respond. I have written him emails begging him to call them or plan a weekend with them and he doesn't respond.
Am I angry at him. YES!! Not over what he has though. I'm angry that he has turned his back on two of the finest children a man could ever wish to have in his life. If he calleld me today and ask me to bring those children to him I would do it in a heart beat. Not because I care about him but because I know it is what my children would need.
To hell with men or woman who use a child as a pawn to hurt the other parent!!!!
Exactly, I fully agree. I recently had a stroke. Unable to work my income has been down. For the first time since our divorce I wrote him an email and asked him to help with school supplies and school clothes. I told him why I need the help and told him the child would really appreciate a gift certificate from a clothing store if he could do that. NOTHING!!
My ex husband is the one who uses his children as a pawn, not the other way around. He got tired of marriage, didn't get to walk off after 17 years without paying and now all he cares about is his anger at me. His children will do without before he will do anything that he thinks I might benefit from in some way.
By the way, I refused alimoney. Surprise you? I turned down alimoney cause if some man no longer wants me I don't want a damned thing he has for myself. Child support is a different story though and I gladly take every penny the state requires him to pay.
Lose your anger and think of the well being of your child.
My anger at my ex husband is righteous!! I feel certain that is someone caused your child the pain my ex husband has caused my you would fully understand my anger. As far as what he makes and what he has...who cares. If that were my concern I could go out tomorrow and find a man to support my butt and give me better than my ex will ever have. That isn't what it's about. It's about responsibility, reliability, integrity, morality and character.
Your mouth is a lose cannon and you need to learn to control it.
Your the one with the problems....re: mouth. You spouted off at me about issues you were not knowledgable about. I suggest next time you do some background research before you rip someone apart.
snodderly