I hate it, but I'm back with a new question

[mommyanme]

mommyanme

This is definately a hill to die on.... advice needed!
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC

Some of you know the history and recently I was denied my motion for a PC, the judge and Dad's attorney stating it was not a "high conflict" case. So, here we are 6 weeks or so after that judgement and Dad has effectively gotten himself banned from our child's daycare with the threat of a restraining order if he returns. What conspired took place over a 4 week period and was concerning the sign in and out sheet. He went to far apparently. (This is a 5 star daycare) When he was told that he would be asked to remove our son from daycare, he told the head of the board of directors that was my problem not his.

I was not a party to this, but I am left cleaning the mess up. The mess has created a big problem, so here it is.

1. They are still considering kicking my son out of daycare and I have a meeting with the board of directors. I had no part in this neither did our child. (but we're not high conflict, yes I'm being snarky) If I have to find a new daycare my job is in jeopardy, but even if I do find one, I now feel this will happen again. If it does, what can I do to not have to continue finding a new daycare?

2. If they do not kick my child out of daycare, which I feel/hope they do not. Our order states Pick up is 8:30am Friday, drop off is 8:30am Monday, I utilize daycare for that because I am at work by 7am. I can not follow the order if I am at work and he is banned from the daycare. I also can't quit or be fired from my job because Dad created this mess. Friends of mine would be the option, if he had not already alienated them from wanting to deal with him also.

I am in a serious pickle and this time, I had not a thing to do with it. What do I do?

 

[stealth2]

Why exactly has Dad been "banned" from daycare?

 

[mommyanme]

Why exactly has Dad been "banned" from daycare?

He was refusing to sign our child in and out of daycare for several months before and after he stopped picking our son up for visits and again when he started picking him up again, so they would sign our son in and out and initial it(they've done this when I have forgotten). He apparently verbally attacked a teacher a few weeks ago in front of the 2 year old class threatening to file forgery charges and saying he would "see her a$$ in court" and then jail. Then when the director tried to calm him down and remove him from the classroom to talk in her office, he continued with her, still in front of the class yelling. She got him into her office finally and he calmed down and apologized and told her not to let them sign his name. The following weeks he still wasn't signing the in and out sheet, so they put down "dad picked up/dad dropped off"
This past Friday when he picked our son up, he went through the in and out book and started scribbling out the sign in and out portions for him. And when he was given, like all of us parents a paper that had the rules he got mad enough to storm out jerking our son up from the table and leaving his coat and medication.

Monday, they had the head of the Board of Directors there and he tried to talk to dad and tried to shake his hand and introduce himself and Dad said he did not know if he was friend or foe. The Head said he was a friend and needed Dad's help and told him that the sign in and out sheet was for everyone's benefit and knew sometimes parents forgot but could he at least initial it. Dad then attacked the head verbally telling him he would file charges against them all and then proceeded to lie and tell them he has heard parents saying children where sitting in diapers for hours and that he had recieved our son's medication in unmarked syringes and they were taking my side in everything. At that point he stepped forward towards the director and put his finger in her face saying all she knew how to do was run her D*** mouth. They asked him to leave and he refused. The head asked him one more time if he would sign the sheet and stop yelling and cussing. Dad said "what if I don't" they told him they would take alternitive measures Dad asked what that was and he was told they would ask him to remove our son from daycare and he said that was my problem not his and finally left.

 

[Proserpina]

I'm sorry, but this is utterly ridiculous.

Both the school AND Dad were acting like children.

 

[mommyanme]

And I'm stuck cleaning up the mess and our son may still be booted from daycare on extremely short notice(tomorrow is my meeting with the Board of Directors and Child Care Services members.)

 

[mommyanme]

Edit: Our state requirements for funded daycares, requires a sign in and sign out process for the kids.

 

[TheGeekess]

I'm sorry, but this is utterly ridiculous.

Both the school AND Dad were acting like children.

(9) Records. – Each child care facility shall keep accurate records on each child receiving care in the child care facility and on each staff member or other person delegated responsibility for the care of children in accordance with a form furnished or approved by the Commission, and shall submit records as required by the Department.

http://nrckids.org/STATES/NC/08-12%20Article%207.pdf

(d) The applicant shall demonstrate to the Division representative that measures will be
implemented to have the following information in the center's files and readily available to the
representative for review:
(1) Staff records which include an application for employment and date of birth;
documentation of previous education, training, and experience; medical and
health records; documentation of participation in training and staff development
activities; and required criminal records check documentation;
(2) Children's records which include an application for enrollment; medical and
immunization records; and permission to seek emergency medical care;
(3) Daily attendance records;
(4) Daily records of arrival and departure times at the center for each child;...

http://nrckids.org/STATES/NC/January2013DCDEERulebook.pdf


Sign in/out is a state requirement, not because the daycare wants to hassle anybody.

 

[Proserpina]

I'm not disputing the fact that the sign in/out procedure is state-mandated.

But from OP's relaying of the situation, they could've handled the situation MUCH better.

In my humble little opinion

 

[mommyanme]

When it started, they thought he was just forgetting and then he stopped picking him up. When he started taking his parenting time again at Christmas he continued it and 4 weeks ago is when he attacked the teacher verbally about signing our son in and out. So up to that point they were not saying anything until he threatened to file criminal charges for forgery. Then they just signed "Dad picked up, Dad dropped off" and he started scratching out that book that they have to show if asked for it.

 

[I'mTheFather]

I agree that they handled it poorly, but only because they should have called the police when he wouldn't leave the classroom.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Mom's option may be to go back to court and reduce the father's time since he is unwilling to follow STATE MANDATED processes. She would have to subpoena the school personnel into court. Dad has been a continued ass to many daycare providers. Since he can't behave, reduce his time and be done with it.

And the reduced time should have exchanges in either a public setting or the police station at this point.

 

[mommyanme]

Mom's option may be to go back to court and reduce the father's time since he is unwilling to follow STATE MANDATED processes. She would have to subpoena the school personnel into court. Dad has been a continued ass to many daycare providers. Since he can't behave, reduce his time and be done with it.

And the reduced time should have exchanges in either a public setting or the police station at this point.

That's what I was thinking was my only possible option to be able to not be in contempt of my own order. Unfortunately there are 2 issues, First is it takes time to get into court and I work this Friday and Dad has his parenting time, I have begged, pleaded and offered money as a bribe, but no one will do it because they don't trust him. 2. Dad works nights Monday through Friday, and I work Saturday Morning, this would reduce his time to when I get off work Saturday to only Sunday evening. My days off are variable. he doesn't have the normal EOW schedule. He gets 3 weekends one month and 2 the next.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Logical consequences. When dad cannot get his head out of his rear, then there are consequences to those behaviors. You will have to subpoena all the daycare providers to show that this behavior is CONSISTENT with a person who is a pain in the patooty.

 

[mommyanme]

Logical consequences. pain in the patooty.

On that note I wish there was a rolling, laughing emote! The first I've smiled since I found all this out yesterday, thank you! I'm sure they won't get upset being supoened(sp?)

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

I have been in a high conflict divorce situation now for 15 years so I feel your pain. My child is 16 and I look forward to that 18th birthday.

I have seen a judge roll her eyes over his inane answers. And yes, logical consequences.

I recommend: document, document, document.

And for obvious reasons, exchanges of the child can no longer happen at daycare providers. While you are in court, request co-parenting classes with the instructors giving the courts feedback. In my case, I've followed the court orders even though I have been out of state and out of courts jurisdiction - it's dad who can follow a court order to save his life.